Tweens

Tween girl: Daddy, why aren’t there ever any black people at this beach?
Dad: Well, I’m not sure, but I think they don’t care for water and the sun.

–Carolina Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: Chad

[Three ten-year-old boys cycling past the beach.]Boy #1: Why you going so fast?!
Boy #2: [Missing front teeth, which makes him lisp.] Becauth he wath fucking her latht night!
Boy #3: What?!!!

–Lake Calhoun Beach, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: They grow up quickly these days!

Tween: The cute ones are not nice, the nice ones are not cute, and the cute & nice ones are gay.

–Long Beach, California

Overheard by: Trixie

Tween #1: Do you think I'm a bitch?
Tween #2: No!
Tween #3: You look like a bitch.
Tween #1: What?
Tween #3: Bitches are pretty.
Tween #2: Do I look like a bitch?

–Bondi Beach, Australia

Tween girl to parents: You never listen to me!
Mom: Be quiet, Ashley.

–Clearwater Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Nicole

Tween girl to parents: You never listen to me!
Mom: Be quiet, Ashley.

–Clearwater Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Nicole

Mother: Stop flicking your ear.
Tween son: I can't. My ear is so awesome.
Mother: You're so retarded sometimes.
Tween son: Like dad?

–Orchard Beach, The Bronx, New York

Overheard by: Pinks

Father: Okay okay okay, let’s go now.
Tween daughter #1: Why? We have company! Can’t we stay?
Father: I have no coverage here. I have calls to make. I have to work. No work, no play, no food, no house, no fun, no beach, no vacation.
Tween daughter #2: No beach?
Father: How do you think this beach got here? My hard work.

–Nauset Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Overheard by: amazed observer

Teen boy: Yo, you’re hot. How old are you?
Girl: Eleven. But I’m turning twelve in three days.
Teen boy: … Bye.

–Emerald Isle, North Carolina

Teenage girl: I can't wait to get a tattoo on my lower back.
Tween boy #1: Why would you want a tattoo there? How are you going to be able to see it?
Tween boy #2: It's not for her, stupid, it's for the dudes she lets do her in the butt doggy-style.

–St. Simon's Island, Georgia

Overheard by: John