Stoner girl to another: Man, I just sent her a text saying that we’re there, because I figure by the time we get there we’ll be there.
–Qualicum Beach, Vancouver Island, Canadia
Archive for the ‘Time’ Category
Maybe Not. He Might Learn About Untraceable Poisons.
Girl: Well, you get like half his money when you divorce!…And he’s in med school now. Alls I’m sayin’ is you should wait a few years.
–Folly Beach, South Carolina
If You’re Arrested, the U.S. Will Deny You Exist
Flight attendant: Welcome to Acapulco, where the local time is party time.
–Plane Landing in Acapulco, Mexico
Want Some Pot?
Camp counselor: Hurry up, or you’ll be left behind!
Kid: Then I’d get to stay here. Awesome!
Camp counselor: Frankly, it’s my last day, so I really don’t care.
–Third Beach, Newport, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Bored Beyond the Beach
Yeaahhh, Definitely Six Days
Grandma: So aren’t you coming to visit me in 3 weeks.
Granddaughter: No, like 2 weeks and 6 days.
–Fort Lauderdale, Florida
I’m Working My Way Up to an Entire Udder
Young mother #1: I am just so pissed that I have to wait until Wednesday to find out if I’m pregnant or not. I really want to go out drinking tonight.
Young mother #2: So? I never let that hold me back.
Young mother #1: Yeah, that’s gotta be why little Eric* has a third nipple.
–Sachuest Beach, Newport, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Rebecca
That’s When Atlantic City Empties Its Septic Tanks
Little girl: Mom, the water is cold.
Mom: Well, honey, it’s only August. When we come back in September, the water will be much much warmer.
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Doesn’t Your Watch Have an App for That?
Girl #1: I lost my fucking phone the other day.
Girl #2: Oh no, I hate when that happens.
Girl #1: I know, right? I never know what the time is now!
–St. Kilda Beach, Melbourne
Overheard by: Alex
How Men Learn Not to Confide in Women
Old lady #1: He told me he has never lasted more than three minutes with anyone!
Old lady #2: Really?? That poor, poor woman of his. No wonder she got a boob job and bites her nails so much.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Samuel Beckett Was Tanning Nearby, and the Rest Is History
Old lady at car: Henry, wait for me!
Old man carrying beach chairs half a block ahead of her: Dammit, Agnes, I’m going! I’ve been waiting for you for 40 years!
–Beach near Naples, Florida
Overheard by: X
