Angry woman: You touchin’ my weave!
–Coney Island, New York
Archive for the ‘Threats’ Category
Your Editors Refuse to Go to Taco Bell Ever Again
Fat tourist lady: So then he yelled “I’m going to poop on your chest, you’ll see!”
–South Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Captain K
Shark: Ralph, Do You Have to Play the Jaws Theme Non-Stop?
Middle aged tourist yelling frantically to children in the water: Get out, get out! There’s sharks!
Teenager with skimboard: Actually, those are a school of stingrays. They’re quite harmle…
Middle age mother, cutting him off: Shaaarks! Get out now!
–Clearwater Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Jonica Grompson
Well, We Don’t Have Time for Both
Little boy: I’m hungry.
Mother: Okay, we will eat in a few minutes.
Little boy: I want to cut your arm off!
–Blue Water Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Lydia
But Mummy, I’m Too Old to Nurse in Public!
British mother to young child: Either put it in your mouth or I’m giving it to charity!
–Miami Beach, Florida
Or Sunblock
Mother to screaming child throwing sachets of sugar: Do that again and you won’t get a babycino.
–Café, Bondi Beach, Australia
Overheard by: GGary
Which Anniversary Is the Coors Anniversary Again?
Guy selling beer: Ladies, if your man won’t buy you a beer he ain’t gonna buy you anything else!
Same guy selling beer, an hour later: If you don’t drink beer, you’re gonna die!
–Brighton Beach, New York
Overheard by: Ramen
Honey, I Chummed the Kids
Crabby mom to sugared-up five-year-old: Fine! Tell your daddy I said you were shark bait. Just please sit down or, I swear to God, you will be!
–South Padre Island, Texas
Overheard by: airwav
What’d We Tell You About Crying That, Peter?
Man, hearing seagulls: Wolves!
–Upper Hutt, New Zealand
Overheard by: Schmitty
That’s How I Spend My Christmas Bonus
Guy sharing Ferris wheel with family: Good thing they fixed this cart, it was broken yesterday.
Old lady: Have you ever been slapped by a complete stranger?
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: girl #1
