Teens

Tween at fireworks display: Oh my god! We could, like, write ‘Fourth of July’ all over our legs, and that would get people to notice us!

–Evanston, Illinois

Overheard by: Sean

Teen boy on beach, moving desperately: Holy fuck, there's something in my shorts!
Teen floozy in too-tight hot pink rubber bands: No shit, Sherlock. I was riding it last night.

–Tybee, Georgia

Overheard by: Sunbather pining for her girlfriend

Furious teenage boy to other teens: Just because you call “no-homo” before you do something doesn't mean it's not gay!

–Coney Island, New York

White teen girl #1: The first rule of being white is never admitting that you’re white.
White teen girl #2: Oh! I never admit that!

–Avon Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: NotFromJersey

Teen:Yeah, we met this black guy and he spoke Japanese, Filipino, and Mexican.
(silence from the group)
Teen: Yeah, he was this black guy who spoke Japanese, Filipino, and Mexican.
(continued silence)
Teen: This black guy spoke Japanese, Filipino and Mexican… Ohhh, dude! Haha!

–Hermosa Beach, California

Tween girl: I need a beer, yo. Who knows when the next time we’ll come to the beach is.

–Key Biscayne Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Kristina

Teenage boy #1, neck deep in water: Aw, dude! My phone was in my pocket!
Teenage boy #2: (silence)
Teenage boy #1: Dude! I just found a hundred dollar bill!
Teenage boy #2: (silence)
Teenage boy #1: Man, I love that Xbox 360.
Teenage boy #2: Yeah man, yeah!

–Bethany Beach, Delaware

16-year-old on phone: So he tried to sell you heroin?

–North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Overheard by: That guy

Mother to teen daughter: I want the stuff they won’t let you buy.

–Medicine aisle of supermarket, Bethany Beach, Delaware

Teen boy #1: Yeah, and then there’s the what-do-you-call-its — those Doritos X-13-D or whatever — where you name the flavor.
Teen boy #2: Haha, yeah. They probably just, like, mixed ingredients or something and didn’t know what to call it.
Teen boy #1: All I know is it tasted like Dijon mustard and chicken Ramen noodles.

–Manteo, North Carolina

Overheard by: Sarah J