Stoned surfer: I decided that I won't eat fish anymore, because if I don't eat them, they won't eat me.
–Long Beach Island, New Jersey
Stoned surfer: I decided that I won't eat fish anymore, because if I don't eat them, they won't eat me.
–Long Beach Island, New Jersey
Surfer dude to flabby, uninterested friend: Are you seeing this? That seagull is frickin' staring me down. Look at him. Are you looking at him? He's giving me the eye. That motherfucker is going to shit on me at some point today, and he wants me to know it.
–Ocean Beach, California
Teenage surfer to dad: You're too old to get high!
–La Jolla, California
Girl to surfer boy: If your dick is big as this ice cream I'll throw the ice cream in the trash and lick your dick!
–Santa Monica, California
Teen guy, to group of pretty girls: Oh my god, that wave was 6 foot 4. That's my height, I'm 6 foot 4!
–Cornwall, England
Overheard by: Beth
Japanese tourist #1 with wet suit on backwards: Hello!
Local surfer: You speak English?
Japanese tourist #2: Yes, yes!
Local surfer: Good. Get the fuck out of here!
–The Hook, Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Chrissy
Surfer bro: Wait, isn't Barack Obama one-half Jamaican?
–Santa Cruz, California
Young boy: Look dad, somebody dropped some peanuts.
Male surfer: Sir, I wouldn’t eat them, I think they came out of someone’s rear end.
Young boy: So these are ass nuts? Awesome!
–Florence, Oregon
Overheard by: Johm
Little boy: Hey! What’s your name?
Little girl walking along shore doesn’t look at him.
Little boy: Hey! What’s your name?!
Little girl looks at boy but continues walking.
Little boy: What’s your name?! What’s your naaaaame?!
Mother of girl: It’s Jade.
Mother whispers to girl and points in boy’s direction, but girl continues walking in other direction.
Surfer dude: Yeah, kid, you can only expect more of that as you get older.
–Pomano Beach, Florida
Skateboarding surfer to six Hasidic Jews: Hey! Cowboys!
–Ventnor City, New Jersey
Overheard by: walking on the other side
