Kid: Mom, we get two months off for school this summer right?
Mom: No, you get like eight weeks.
Kid: Oh, okay.
–Ocean Beach, California
Overheard by: Stephanie
Archive for the ‘Stupidity’ Category
Like a Computer, Baby!
20-something guy to deck hand, pointing to stairs: Do these stairs go down?
–Boat, Boston Harbor
Overheard by: Deck Hand
Lazy Fat-Asses
Teen girl: Do sea lions swim?
Mom: No, they ride boats.
–Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: just wanted to take a look at SEA LIONS
Our SATs Have Tanning and Waxing Sections
High school girl #1: Wait, Muhammad Ali the boxer or the dictator?
High school girl #2: What planet do you come from where Muhammad Ali is a dictator?
High school girl #1: Florida.
–West Palm Beach, Florida
A Cautionary Tale About Sunblock Fumes
Brunette: When’s your anniversary?
Blonde: May.
Brunette: Oh, today?
Blonde: No, May.
Brunette: Oh, mine too.
Blond: When’s your anniversary?
Brunette: May.
–Rockaway Beach, New York
Latest Miracle Ear Ad Campaign Goes “Street”
Girl #1: Oh my god, look at all the palm trees!
Girl #2: Shhh! Don’t say ‘papis’!
Girl #1: What? Cock tease?
–San Juan, Puerto Rico
Overheard by: jersey represent
Wait’ll She Loses Custody
Little boy running down the beach: Mother nature’s gone all wrong!
–Santa Monica Beach, California
Overheard by: LilRedSeaglass
Of Course He Liked His Raw and Smeared on Strippers…
Drunk woman at bar: I mean, we had so much in common, you know? He liked red meat, I liked red meat… It was a good relationship.
–Long Beach, California
… And the Losers Will Don Suicide Belts
Bimbette announcer during Miss Hampton Beach pageant: … And now our auditor will talibate the results…
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Annette
Or, Like, an Orgy with Four People?
Teenage boy #1: Yeah, Verizon is supposed to get a 4G network sometime soon.
Teenage boy #2: Do you even know what 4G means?
Teenage boy #1: 4 dimensions! Duh!
–Granite Bay, California
Overheard by: AB
