High school girl #1: Wait, Muhammad Ali the boxer or the dictator?
High school girl #2: What planet do you come from where Muhammad Ali is a dictator?
High school girl #1: Florida.
–West Palm Beach, Florida
Archive for the ‘Sports’ Category
Why Flare Guns Are So Popular in Canadia
Man #1, hanging up cell: By the volleyball net? You can’t find anyone at this beach by telling them “I’m by the volleyball net.” That’s like going downtown and telling someone “I’m by the pizza place.”
Man #2: Or, “I’m by the hobo.”
–Jericho Beach, Vancouver, Canadia
Overheard by: Emimac
So My Strategy is to Throw Money at It and Run Away as Fast as I Can
Walker #1: So I think I am going to train for the LA marathon.
Walker #2: Really? What’s the cause?
Walker #1: Well, it’s for AIDS. Not that I have AIDS, nor know anyone who does.
Walker #2: Yeah, well, we all know AIDS is bad.
–Olympic & La Cienega Park, Los Angeles, California
…With Your Penis Being the Obvious Exception.
Girl playing volleyball, as guy switches to her teach to even up sides: I promise we won’t suck too much…
–Adelaide, Australia
Kelly and Sharon Osbourne Have Always Been Close
Mother to daughter reading a running magazine: Which is harder, running on a treadmill…
Daughter, yelling: Your mum!
–Tampa, Florida
How to Say “Yes” in Californian
Girl: Are you going to go back to 24 Hour Fitness?
Guy: Gayness in my anus…
–Pacific Beach, California
One Day You, Too, Can Be a Douchebag!
Out-of-shape 50-something customer: I don’t know, the guys I see riding fixed-gear bikes are in really good shape.
20-something bike salesman: That shouldn’t intimidate you; it should inspire you.
–Sag Harbor, New York
Overheard by: the lerpa
Fertility Treatment, Economy Version
Husband: Let’s take a surfing lesson.
Wife: The water’s too cold.
Husband: We can rent a wet suit.
Wife: That would be like wearing someone else’s condom.
–Cannon Beach, Oregon
Overheard by: macdog
Sharks: Mmmm, Pulled Long Pork!
Kid: Wouldn’t it suck if you had a boogie board with razor blades on it? It’d be like weeeee-aahhhhhhhh!
–Santa Monica, California
…And Pass the Vodka
Snorkel guide: The blue belt is for the strong swimmer. The orange belt is for… the weaker swimmer.
Man to wife: You better get the orange belt.
Wife: Hey, shut up!
–Jamaica
Overheard by: Peeto the Cheeto
