Drunk woman at bar: I mean, we had so much in common, you know? He liked red meat, I liked red meat… It was a good relationship.
–Long Beach, California
Drunk woman at bar: I mean, we had so much in common, you know? He liked red meat, I liked red meat… It was a good relationship.
–Long Beach, California
Girl #1: I love Italian men. And black men.
Girl #2: Didn’t you date a half black, half Italian man?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: So where’s the ring?
Girl #1: He went back to jail.
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Genevieve
Girl #1: So have you spoken to him at all?
Girl #2: A little. I think he might be ready to get back together soon.
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #2: Well, this might be overanalyzing, but his last move on Scrabulous was “sorry”.
–New Jersey
Tall blonde: That’s fantastic, he seems really great!
Short brunette: You know what I love most about him? He gets me… I mean he really appreciates my sluttiness!
–World Pie, Bridgehampton, New York
Chick #1: Why didn’t you kiss me at the pool?!
Chick #2: Because I don’t want to have an open relationship with you!
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Girlfriend in spa, whose bikini top is suddenly filling with air from the spa-jets: Ai! My top is blowing off!
Boyfriend: That’s okay, it’s not as if it was supporting anything.
–Hobart, Australia
Overheard by: JW
Guy to woman: I’m not going to have a nervous breakdown like you did, and I’m not going to have irritable bowl syndrome like John. I’m going to visit mom less often.
–Manhattan Beach, New York
Girl #1: Things happen for a reason, you know.
Girl #2: Yeah… It’s probably good that I’m not rich. If I were rich, I’d be such a bitch!
Girl #1: Oh, I know! I’d still love you, but you’d be a total bitch.
Girl #2: Ugh… I can just hear me now: (total val voice) I’m going shopping! (normal voice) Ugh… My dad would spoil me.
Girl #1: I know! My dad too!
Girl #2: Our dads are too nice!
Girl #1: Maybe that’s why god made them poor.
Girl #2: Yeah… He knew we’d be terrible people.
–Nathan’s, Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Wondering if I sound like this to other people
Girl #1: Because I’m not talking to him.
Girl #2: Oh, really? I didn’t know.
Girl #1: Yeah, I’m not talking to him.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: Because I’m not talking to him.
Girl #2: Ohhhh.
–Cavehill, Barbados
Man on cell: Yeah, Paul* and I aren’t friends anymore. He used my credit card and owes me $4000. Plus, it probably doesn’t help that I’ve been having sex with his mom… repeatedly.
–Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Amused Passenger
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist