Archive for the ‘Rednecks’ Category

You Can’t Seriously Expect Frank to Give Up a Possible Bite Just to Save Someone

Redneck girl: Frank was out fishing with the guy who drowned yesterday.
Redneck boyfriend: Did he try to save him?
Redneck girl: No, he was fishing — I told you. He thought he had one on the line.
Redneck boyfriend: Did he?
Redneck girl: No, it was just the water.
Redneck boyfriend: I thought you were gonna say it was the guy who drowned.

–Holland State Park, Michigan

Overheard by: Townie

We Should Stop Settling for Prunes

Fat redneck girl: You know what I wanted last night? A plum!
Skinny redneck guy: Me, too! Last night after me and you got in that fight, all I kept thinking about was how I wanted me a big, juicy plum!

–Navarre Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Wendy

Wait, Octopus Flavor?

Redneck spring breaker ordering from ceviche stand: Lemme try some of that shave-ice.

–South Beach, Miami, Florida

Overheard by: Bet he didn’t like it