Race

Tween girl: Daddy, why aren’t there ever any black people at this beach?
Dad: Well, I’m not sure, but I think they don’t care for water and the sun.

–Carolina Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: Chad

Man: Honey, I don’t think this off-board thing is very safe.
Wife: Why not?
Man: There are so many Mexicans here…
Wife: We’re in fuckin’ Mexico!

–Mexican cruise

Overheard by: Lydia

White teen girl #1: The first rule of being white is never admitting that you’re white.
White teen girl #2: Oh! I never admit that!

–Avon Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: NotFromJersey

Teen:Yeah, we met this black guy and he spoke Japanese, Filipino, and Mexican.
(silence from the group)
Teen: Yeah, he was this black guy who spoke Japanese, Filipino, and Mexican.
(continued silence)
Teen: This black guy spoke Japanese, Filipino and Mexican… Ohhh, dude! Haha!

–Hermosa Beach, California

Drunk white guy: Girl, I love you. You remind me of my friends from Philly!
Sober black girl: Why? Cause I'm black?
Drunk white guy: Yes. (pause) I felt you deserved an honest answer!

–Port Hueneme, California

Overheard by: honesty is the best policy

Little boy pointing to black woman: Look, Mom! It’s a chocolate lady!

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Overheard by: Jane

Southern lady looking at surfers in wetsuits: I never knew there were so many negro surfers!

–El Granada, California

Overheard by: davo

White girl to black friend: Why do black people wear colored skinny jeans?
Black girl: So when it's dark you can see them.

–Tampa, Florida

Boy with pretty eyes: So I told her “porch monkey” is a racial slur.
Girl with squinty eyes: Yeah?
Boy with pretty eyes: And she says she doesn't know anybody named Rachel.
Girl with squinty eyes: Yes she does, her cousin's name is Rachel.

–St. Pete Beach, Florida

Black guy to friends: Now I can officially say I am the darkest nigga on the beach.

–Carkeek Park, Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Onion girl