Girlfriend: Oh my God, I totally look like Paris Hilton.
Boyfriend: Yeah, you’re an overtanned, skinny skank.
Girlfriend, excitedly: I know!!
–Shelly Beach, New South Wales, Australia
Archive for the ‘Physical Appearance’ Category
Puberty and Peer Pressure Ensure Australia’s Bitch Surplus
Tween #1: Do you think I’m a bitch?
Tween #2: No!
Tween #3: You look like a bitch.
Tween #1: What?
Tween #3: Bitches are pretty.
Tween #2: Do I look like a bitch?
–Bondi Beach, Australia
Oh, Yes, Roger, Never Have I Seen a Bigger Logical Fallacy!
Ugly teen girl: Don’t compromise your morals! That’s the thing about debate camp. It makes people attractive that you wouldn’t normally find attractive.
–Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: glad I chose soccer camp
So All I Need Is a Tan
Fat girl, to friend: That tan girl looks better in my bikini than I do.
Random guy walking by: Yeah, she does.
–Traverse City, Michigan
Overheard by: Cari
Worth a Try
Jock #1: Did you see him at the party last night? I mean, what the hell?
Jock #2: Dude, he’s such a fag.
Jock #1: I heard he swallows.
Jock #2: What’s his name again?
Jock #1: Eric.
–Ocean City, Maryland
The Same Thing Happens to Women
Trendy Asian chick: I’ve seen a lot of transvestites in my day, but only one with a beard.
Old, well-dressed Mexican man: He must have forgotten to shave.
–Newport Beach, California
Plus, That Species Of Dragon Has a Much Shorter Wingspan
College girl to college guys carving dragon in the sand: Ugh! What is wrong with you?! Dragons do not have such muscular arms!
College guy: Ours does!
College girl: I am torn: do I continue arguing about tiny dragon arms as if dragons are real or move on to mocking you for giving your dragon the biceps you wish you had?
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Ugh, Those Terrorists?
20-something girl, talking about new guy she’s dating: Yeah, he’s kind of indie.
20-something guy: So is his dick dark brown?
20-something girl, after a long pause: Not Indian! Indie!
–Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: Josh M.
I Do Not Think That Word Means What You Think It Means
Little boy: I don’t want to put on sunscreen!
Older sister: Do you want to look like a Nang?
Little boy: What?
Older sister: Well, that’s the thing about Nangs, they get burnt!
–Byron Bay, Australia
So Narcissism…Makes Me Look Fat?
Girl #1: What do you say when people ask about me?
Girl #2: “She’s a narcissistic freak.“
Girl #1: What kind of narcissist am I?
Girl #2: (stares blankly)
Girl #1: A pretty oneee.
Girl #2: You want me to lie to you?
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: Just kidding – you’re not not pretty.
Girl #1: What?!
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: You’re saying I’m not ugly but I’m not pretty.
Girl #2: You’re in limbo between pretty and ugly, so being mean to me makes you ugly.
–Kure Beach, North Carolina
Overheard by: Bee
