Pee

Mom whispering to little boy: Go in the water where nobody can see.

Little boy digs a hole, fills it with water, and pees.

–Vero Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Nick

Mom to young son: You lost all your privileges when you peed in your pants.

–Long Beach, California

Overheard by: Scott

Girl, loudly: I need to pee, but I’m still too close to other people.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: moving away quickly

Teen girl #1: Are you done yet?
Teen girl #2: Still haven’t done it yet… By the way, you might not want to get in the way of the current!
Boy: Gross! She’s peeing!
Teen girl #2: Shhh! Everyone can hear you!

–Long Beach Island, New Jersey

Little boy #1: It’s my turn to use the boogie board! Mom said you have to share!
Little boy #2: Oh yeah? Well, too bad, ’cause I’m not gonna share!
Little boy #1: Oh yeah? Well, I just peed in your wetsuit!

–Long Beach, New York

Overheard by: RPLB 2000

Guy to son, pouring Hawaiian punch into kids cup: Boy, you gonna be pissin' tonight!

–Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Sandwich

Dude #1: Yo, there are so many garbage cans here. I bet if you tried you could piss in that one from here.
Dude #2: Gross, man!
Dude #1: Okay, well, here goes!

–Coney Island, New York

Mother: Remember: when you have to use the bathroom at the beach, you go in the water, right?
Toddler: Okay, mommy.

–East Hampton, New York

Overheard by: I'll never swim again

Mother: Remember: when you have to use the bathroom at the beach, you go in the water, right?
Toddler: Okay, mommy.

–East Hampton, New York

Overheard by: I'll never swim again

Skinny drunk girl with dense philosophy textbook: I like peeing when necessary, I like peeing when unnecessary. Whenever, wherever. As long as I get arrested for it, that's all I ask. Is that too much to ask?

–Jericho Beach, Vancouver, Canadia

Overheard by: Jericho