Hot dad: No, it's because I prefer other foods.
Small boy clinging to his back: Like people poopy?

–Vancouver Sea Walk, Canada

Overheard by: Rosie

Blonde girl: Oh… I had sex with your brother last night.
Brunette girl: Oh, yeah?
Blonde girl: He has a huge cock.
Brunette girl: Oh my god! I know!
Blonde girl: Too bad he has herpes.
Brunette girl: I know…

–Burlington Beach, Ontario, Canadia

Overheard by: Alrighty…..

Teenage boy #1: I'm gonna grab your nipple.
Teenage boy #2: You better grab my nipple!

–Head of the Fish Regatta, Saratoga Springs, New York

Chubby guy to sister: Sand is rocks that disintegrated over time because of volcanoes.

–The Dunes, Michigan

Woman pointing to fishing pier: Where did that bridge used to lead to?

–Wildwood, New Jersey

Overheard by: Lifeguard

Mom to little boy: Get out of the water! It's time to get tested again!

–Main Street Beach, Vermilion, OH

Overheard by: Cactopus

Teen to promoter throwing Halloween candy: Bitch, gimme somma dem fuckin' dots!

–West Palm Beach, Florida

Thug #1: You goin’ in the water or you not?
Chick: I wanna go in the water, but I need yo’ shirt!
Thug #1: You’s like the Mexicans sayin’ they wanna cross the fence to get to the U.S. Just climb over it!
Thug #2: They cross the river! Them Mexicans turn cars into boats and float across! They must been watchin’ Monster Garage when they turned the VW Bug into a boat!
Thug #1: You not gettin’ my t-shirt — go in the water!
Chick, turning to Thug #1’s toddler son: Can I have your jersey? You have a shirt under it! I wanna go in the water!
Toddler: No!
Thug #2: That thing was sick. They turned that car into a boat and floated across!

–Plum Island, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Megan

Little boy: Dad, why does that girl have her swim suit straps down like that?
Dad: So she doesn’t get tan lines on her shoulders. Yup, if your mom had those I never would’ve married her.

–Maui, Hawaii

Overheard by: Mindygotback

Ugly overweight girl in unflattering bikini: Guys don't like you anymore after you've had sex with them.

–Belmar Beach, New Jersey