20-something girl #1: So, she’s pregnant?
20-something girl #2: No, I just didn’t want to sit by the soda machine.
–Warren Dunes, Michigan
We Should Taste It To Make Sure
Bimbette to friend: Hmmm, it smells like the beach…
–Surf & Stillwell Avenue, Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Janelle
I’ll Ask God If We Can Borrow His Wet-Dry Vac
Tourist, walking on boardwalk at high tide: They really have to do something about this water problem.
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Laughing Local
Internet Porn: Explained
Guy on bus to friends: So the longer those titties were in front of me, the happier I became.
–Brisbane, Australia
Comrade Gull Repudiates the Bourgeois Notion of Private Property
Boundary-Conscious chick: Oh my God, why is that seagull here? I thought this was a private beach!
–Westhampton Beach, New York
Things Are So Different Since 9–11
Girl #1: Yeah, so I wore two different colored flip-flops to the mall. It was so humiliating all day, looking like that.
Girl #2: I would’ve died!
–Ocean Beach, Fire Island, New York
And Then We’ll Feast
Guy looking in the water: What’s that?
Girl: Dunno, a hat?
Guy: Looks like a taxi driver’s hat.
Girl: His body will wash up soon enough.
–Stoney Beach, Maryland
Overheard by: MonicaIsWayRad
About As Plausible As a Sea Cow
Girl #1, looking at sand dunes: Look! A rabbit!
Girl #2: Rabbits can’t breath under water.
Girl #3: Sea hare!
–Salt Mantra, NSW Australia
If You’ll Refer to This Venn Diagram…
Fat guy in tight shirt: Okay, I can understand a Vulcan being a Buddhist, but not a Christian.
–Venice Beach, California
As Befits a Vacation in Cumbria
Girl looking at others on beach: What freaks!
Guy: Emma, I’m waving a spatula and you’re counting waves.
Girl: Logic accepted.
–St. Bees, England
