Nature

Chubby eight-year-old boy, walking and kicking sand up with his feet: Woah! Ma! Look at this! They've even got real sand here!
Exasperated mom, clutching French fries: No shit! It's real sand! Buying fake sand would be dumb. Everyone would steal it.

–The Bahamas

Overheard by: Fake sand maker

Annoyingly loud blonde: You did it in the ocean?!

–Olde Angel Inn Pub, Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canadia

Chubby guy to sister: Sand is rocks that disintegrated over time because of volcanoes.

–The Dunes, Michigan

Girl: They look so much bigger when you’re on your knees!… Um, I meant the waves.

–Loon Point, Summerland, California

Overheard by: likes big waves

Sunbathing girl: Ahhh! Burning sensation!

–Ocean City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Kristin

Seven-year-old girl with net, shouting to friend and running to the water: Come on, Meghan! This is a humongous scientific emergency!

–Wellfleet, Massachusetts

Blonde: Why is the water so much saltier on this coast? They really need to stop putting all their extra salt in the water.
Dude: Extra salt?
Blonde: Yeah, isn’t that what the government does — just dumps the barrels of extra salt into the water?

–Daytona Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Kristin

Girl: Ooh, it's so pretty here…like on Lost!
Guy (stepping around litter): Yeah, complete with used diapers.

–South Padre Island, Texas

Overheard by: The Other

Four-year-old boy, winding up long conversation: And so that's why spiders live in your eyeballs. They play in the blood and love to drink dirty water. (pause) Can I have a snack?

–Santa Barbara, California

Toddler: Mom, we are the hermit crabs that are going to change the world.

–Monterey, California