American beach-goer #1: I wonder if the people here have trouble understanding us sometimes.
American beach-goer #2: Why would they?
American beach-goer #1: Because of our accents.
American beach-goer #2: But we don’t have accents.
–Edinburgh, Scotland
Tourist with thick New Jersey accent: These people are so stupid! They don’t even speak American.
–Huatulco, Mexico
Male tourist speaking in German: Look at that guy’s Speedo!
Female tourist speaking in German: Eeew. And his friend really needs to shave his back.
Male tourist speaking in German: I am so glad no one understands what we are saying.
Female tourist speaking in German: I know!
–South Beach, Florida
Overheard by: German-speaker
Guatemalan teen, passing American teen on the beach: Quieres fumar?
American teen: Huh? What?
Guatemalan teen: Quieres fumar?
American teen: Bro, I don’t know what you’re saying. I don’t speak Mexican or whatever that is.
Guatemalan teen: Want smoke weed?
American teen: Oh. Hell yeah, why didn’t you say that the first time?
–Monte Rico, Guatemala
Overheard by: MangoJoe
English girl reading menu: Oh my god. What? It’s all in foreign!
–Beach cafe, Northern France
Overheard by: Jess
Saggy-drawered kid: That woman carrying shit on her head.
Mother: Boy, you ain’t in Brooklyn anymore. This place different. And keep your voice down.
Saggy-drawered kid: Hell, she don’t speak English. And what the hell computer boy gonna do, report me to the internet?
–Tela Beach, Honduras
Overheard by: Computer boy, I assume
Mom: What did that lady ask you?
Little girl, wearing “Cerveza With a Smile” shirt: She asked what my shirt said.
Mom: Do you know what it says?
Grandpa: Service with a smile.
–Cedar Point, Ohio
Overheard by: devin the artist
Teen #1: So, do you, like, speak Spanish?
Teen #2: Yeah! Like a little.
Teen #1: So, what’d you like say to him?
Teen #2: I was like, “hola.”
–Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: MoMo
Guy #1: The only problem I have with [my Blackberry] is when I have to type in French.
Guy #2: Oh. My problem with typing in French is that I hate everyone that I’m addressing.
–Jones Beach, New York
Guy on cell: I don’t know, it may just be the chlamydia talking, though.
–Destin, Florida
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
