Brunette: When’s your anniversary?
Blonde: May.
Brunette: Oh, today?
Blonde: No, May.
Brunette: Oh, mine too.
Blond: When’s your anniversary?
Brunette: May.
–Rockaway Beach, New York
Archive for the ‘Language Barrier’ Category
Einstein: Now This Is Relativity!
American beach-goer #1: I wonder if the people here have trouble understanding us sometimes.
American beach-goer #2: Why would they?
American beach-goer #1: Because of our accents.
American beach-goer #2: But we don’t have accents.
–Edinburgh, Scotland
And They Keep Accidentally Driving Me Back Over the Border
Tourist with thick New Jersey accent: These people are so stupid! They don’t even speak American.
–Huatulco, Mexico
Remember When You Thought Taking German in College Would Never Do You Any Good?
Male tourist speaking in German: Look at that guy’s Speedo!
Female tourist speaking in German: Eeew. And his friend really needs to shave his back.
Male tourist speaking in German: I am so glad no one understands what we are saying.
Female tourist speaking in German: I know!
–South Beach, Florida
Overheard by: German-speaker
Marijuana: The Universal Language
Guatemalan teen, passing American teen on the beach: Quieres fumar?
American teen: Huh? What?
Guatemalan teen: Quieres fumar?
American teen: Bro, I don’t know what you’re saying. I don’t speak Mexican or whatever that is.
Guatemalan teen: Want smoke weed?
American teen: Oh. Hell yeah, why didn’t you say that the first time?
–Monte Rico, Guatemala
Overheard by: MangoJoe
She Went with the Sheep Testicles and a Nice Chablis
English girl reading menu: Oh my god. What? It’s all in foreign!
–Beach cafe, Northern France
Overheard by: Jess
Payback’s a Bitch
Saggy-drawered kid: That woman carrying shit on her head.
Mother: Boy, you ain’t in Brooklyn anymore. This place different. And keep your voice down.
Saggy-drawered kid: Hell, she don’t speak English. And what the hell computer boy gonna do, report me to the internet?
–Tela Beach, Honduras
Overheard by: Computer boy, I assume
Either Way, She Will Grow Up to Be Much Sought After
Mom: What did that lady ask you?
Little girl, wearing “Cerveza With a Smile” shirt: She asked what my shirt said.
Mom: Do you know what it says?
Grandpa: Service with a smile.
–Cedar Point, Ohio
Overheard by: devin the artist
I Think I’ve Seen This Kirsten Dunst Movie…
Teen #1: So, do you, like, speak Spanish?
Teen #2: Yeah! Like a little.
Teen #1: So, what’d you like say to him?
Teen #2: I was like, “hola.”
–Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: MoMo
‘Dear Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkey…’
Guy #1: The only problem I have with [my Blackberry] is when I have to type in French.
Guy #2: Oh. My problem with typing in French is that I hate everyone that I’m addressing.
–Jones Beach, New York
