Angry woman: You touchin’ my weave!
–Coney Island, New York
Archive for the ‘Hair’ Category
Probably Has Something to Do with the Location of His Brain
Dad, about bald passerby: That guy is really bald!
Daughter: Dad, you have more hair on your butt than your head.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Ryan
That Makes Sense; I Never Jerk Off on Bad Hair Days
Man: Get rid of your mustache, and then worry about the Brazilian.
Woman: Get some hair on your head, and then go fuck yourself.
–Jersey Shore, New Jersey
Overheard by: Mike
My Bikini Is Dissolving
Woman on beach: Ah, I didn’t come to the beach to get wet! It’s getting in my hair, on my shoes. Where are the car keys?
–Port Elgin, Ontario, Canadia
Overheard by: Linz
Dear God, What Have I Done?
Father to daughter, while mother brushes hair: Doesn’t that hurt?
Daughter: Nope, I have a strong scallop.
Father: What does that mean? Your head is not made of vegetables!
Mother: What? Vegetables? That’s “scallions,” you idiot! And your head is not a scallop, it’s a scalp… you’re both idiots! (laughs hysterically)
–Robert Moses, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Sugardoll
And Ladies Refer to It as ‘Down Under’
Girl: Mummy, do you have a hairy pee?
Mummy: Make sure you never ask that again, especially when we have guests over for dinner.
–Manly Beach, Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: ohgodhaha
No, Our Mics Picked That Up Fine
Fat guy to wife who’s sunbathing on her stomach: Wow. You need to shave — you got some wild, stray hairs back there.
Wife: Say it louder, asshole.
–Rosemary Beach, Florida
Overheard by: She’s still hotter than you, pal
Dude, I Think She’s Advertising!
Preteen boy #1, whispering to pal: Dude! Look at that girl lying over there. Her bikini’s pulled up so tight it’s up in her snatch.
Preteen boy #2, whispering back: Quiet… Damn!
Preteen boy #1: What’s that sticking out?
Preteen boy #2: I think it’s hair, dude.
Preteen boy #1: They got hair down there?
[they high-five each other]Preteen boy #1: It’s kind of gross and cool at the same time.
–Padre Island, Texas
She’s a Walking Tribute to 1980s Madonna
Fake tanned, bleach blonde woman loudly into phone: I mean, have you seen Alice lately? Forget the Brazilian wax, she needs to have the whole South American!
–Manly Beach, Sydney
Overheard by: anotherpassenger
I Did Fall in the Ocean, Though
Bag lady: Weren’t you gonna wash yo’ hair?
Hobo: That was las’ week!
Bag lady: Well, didja?
Hobo: No.
–Miami, Florida
Overheard by: larry
