Boy to girl, behind trees: I’m running out of things to put in there!
–St. George Island, Florida
Overheard by: Shocked and disturbed
Boy to girl, behind trees: I’m running out of things to put in there!
–St. George Island, Florida
Overheard by: Shocked and disturbed
Mom to 13-year-old son: What the hell is wrong with you? Were you born this stupid?
–Seaside Heights, New Jersey
Overheard by: bonzo
Beach patrol: Ma’am, I am going to have to ask you to put on your top. This is not a “clothing optional” beach.
Man sitting with topless woman: Leave her alone. She is trying to get a full body tan.
Beach patrol: Sir, I think you are asking quite a bit from the sun.
–Fort Macon, North Carolina
Overheard by: El Gee
Chick: I don’t know why you wanted to come to a nudist beach… It’s all old, gay, wrinkled men here. They’re all staring at me and the water is so cold — you look teeny.
Dude: I know, I should have just had you walk around naked at home.
–Gunnison Beach, Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Underage girl: Oh, my God. Look at that guy. He’s so fucking hot.
Bartender, sarcastically: Oooh, nice. Maybe if you show him your boobs, he’ll buy you a drink?
Underage girl: You think so?
Mom: No way. You’re as flat as a surfboard. If you want that guy to buy you a drink, you’d have to do a lot more than show him your boobs.
–The Seafood Bar, The Breakers, Palm Beach, Florida
Overheard by: The JAP
Blonde girl: Oh… I had sex with your brother last night.
Brunette girl: Oh, yeah?
Blonde girl: He has a huge cock.
Brunette girl: Oh my god! I know!
Blonde girl: Too bad he has herpes.
Brunette girl: I know…
–Burlington Beach, Ontario, Canadia
Overheard by: Alrighty…..
Ugly overweight girl in unflattering bikini: Guys don't like you anymore after you've had sex with them.
–Belmar Beach, New Jersey
Drunk sunbather: Have I told you I hate kites? I just hate them. They make me want to vomit. Also, I don’t like adjectives, so don’t call this a ‘tasty sandwich.’
–Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: pole
Guy: Why did you tell *Veronica that I had a small dick?
Girl: Because you do.
Guy: You could have at least told her I know how to use it.
Girl: You don’t!
–Discovery Bay, California
Betty Ford dropout: I hate it when you close your eyes and you feel the alcohol, but when you open them you don't.
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Danny
