Girl: I’m so tired.
Boy: Well that’s because you were up all night having sex, and whose fault is that?
Girl: My vagina’s. I can’t control her.
–Bondi Beach, Australia
Overheard by: yellow mushroom
Archive for the ‘Girls’ Category
I Thought You Were Talking About Those Tourist Locals
Guy #1: Let’s go local hunting.
Hot girl: I don’t want to go fucking local hunting.
Guy #2: You should, it’s mad fun. We went to this local party once and got kicked out.
Guy #1: Yeah, but we got the number of this kid who lives here.
Ugly girl: Wait. People live here?
–Westhampton Beach, New York
Overheard by: Doesn’t live there
Details Available Upon Request
Girl to friends: I think the worst thing I ever smelled was my own breath.
–Weirs Beach, New Hampshire
Overheard by: glad I wasn’t downwind of her
And Loves Acid.
Girl that won’t stop talking: This looks a lot like my mother’s house, but the colors are more tropical because she’s Puerto Rican.
–North Florida
Overheard by: Amused
It’s Actually Her Roommate in a JonBenet Costume
College girl: Stop hitting on the nine-year-old, and let’s leave!
–Grand Bend, Ontario, Canadia
It Was Strange; Their Necks Were Chained Together…
Girl #1: I think more black people are making their way into the North Shore now!
Girl #2: I know! Yesterday I was at the beach, and I saw a couple of them. But they were being led around by some guy…
–Crane’s Beach, Ipswich, Massachusetts
Kids, Can You Find Five Things Wrong with this Sunbather?
Girl #1: How do my boobs look?
Girl #2: Like oranges. Seriously, you need to quit that fake tanning shit.
Girl #1: Suck my dick.
–Ocean City, Maryland
So God Does Play Dice With the Universe!
Girl: He gets so tan!
Guy: I tell you, you look at his hand and you’d think that man was black!
Girl: You know, his mom’s husband is black. That’s why we tease him about that so much.
Guy: Really? His step-dad is black?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: Wouldn’t you be pissed?
Girl: Yeah, well, his mom treats him like shit anyway.
Brief pause.
Girl: I’m rethinking the doctor thing.
Guy: Really?
Girl: Yeah, surgeon or oncologist or whatever I become. I wouldn’t be able to have a family.
–Rehoboth, Delaware
Overheard by: kristen
The Canadian Version Of The Hills Is Infinitely More Entertaining
Skinny drunk girl with dense philosophy textbook: I like peeing when necessary, I like peeing when unnecessary. Whenever, wherever. As long as I get arrested for it, that’s all I ask. Is that too much to ask?
–Jericho Beach, Vancouver, Canadia
Overheard by: Jericho
…Until the Guy Who Hates Gays Showed Up.
20-something Hamptons girl: And it was like me and John, and then like ten other people we didn’t know in this big house. It was like The Real World! And… it was awesome!
–Cupsogue Beach, Westhampton, New York
Overheard by: wondering where this story began
