Girls

Stoned girl #1: You know what's awesome? If you look up, you see the moon and the stars, and it's like you're looking at space.
Stoned girl #2 (munching Parmesan crackers): Whoooaaa.

–Saint Petersburg, Florida

Overheard by: i was stoned and it sounded cool at the time, too.

Blonde in bikini #1: She said she made eye contact with it three times.
Older man reading magazine: It was a five-year-old. That's what kids do.
Blonde in bikini #2: It was definitely not a five-year-old.

–Scarborough Beach, Rhode Island

Girl, drinking spiked hot chocolate: Oh my god, it's like Jesus died in my mouth!

–Arcata, California

Girl #1 to girl #2 at concert, after girl #2 comes back from talking to band: Are you okay? You didn't get touched, did you?

–Walton Beach, Florida

Teen girl #1: Pick a vegetable!
Teen girl #2: I know mine — tomato!
Teen girl #3: Dumbass, a tomato’s a fruit. Choose again.
Teen girl #2: Ginger!
Teen girl #1: Should I pick an easier category?

–Emerald Isle, North Carolina

Drunk guy: I’m scared of you… You look dangerous, like you could beat somebody up.
Drunk girl: What? Why?
Drunk guy: It’s the headband, you look like you know karate.
Drunk girl: I don’t know karate, I know yoga.

–Beaufort, South Carolina

Overheard by: Wish I had that logic….

Guy: Why did you tell *Veronica that I had a small dick?
Girl: Because you do.
Guy: You could have at least told her I know how to use it.
Girl: You don’t!

–Discovery Bay, California

Betty Ford dropout: I hate it when you close your eyes and you feel the alcohol, but when you open them you don't.

–Ocean City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Danny

Chick #1: Why does that hurt your arms but nowhere else?
Chick #2: I dunno. It just does. I have weak arms.
Chick #1: I think you have leukemia…Don’t laugh! Leukemia is a horrible disease!

–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire

(group of awkward band geeks on the beach)
Girl #1: Did Dave* and Tina* go back to the house again?
Girl #2: Yes, the whole prom weekend all they have been doing is sneaking off to be alone.
Girl #1: You know they’ve been having sex all the time, don’t you?
(boy next to girl #2 sits up)
Girl #2: If you do it too much it’s not fun anymore.

–Trenton Avenue, Sea Girt, New Jersey

Overheard by: Girt Girl