Southern belle: If I had gotten on that boat, I would have met the man of my dreams. We would have had an amazing time and I would have fallen madly in love. Then I'd go back to Arkansas and he'd forget about me, just like all the rest of them.
Friend: Yeah… Need a smoke?
Southern belle: Yes! Do you have menthol? I love menthol.
–Fort Myers Beach, Florida
Girl #1: Do you think a guy would tell you if he had a girlfriend?
Girl #2: Yes, of course he would!
–Belmar, New Jersey
Overheard by: kate
Guy #1: What I can’t understand is, $5,000 an hour for a hooker? How good can pussy be?
Woman #1: And where did he get that kind of money on a public official’s salary?
Guy #2: He could have cruised tenth avenue and gotten the same poontang for twenty bucks.
Woman #2: I don’t have to worry about Frank going to hookers. He won’t even use a bottle of ketchup if it’s already been opened.
–Italian Restaurant, Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Surfer #1: I’m thinking about joining this race where you paddle out to Catalina.
Surfer #2: How do you get back?
Surfer #3: Might not come back.
Surfer #4: Heavy.
–Malibu, California
Overheard by: Brandon
White girl to black friend: Why do black people wear colored skinny jeans?
Black girl: So when it's dark you can see them.
–Tampa, Florida
Dude #1: Ah, see that girl?
Dude #2: Yeah.
Dude #1: She is whack.
Dude #2: Didn’t you date her for like a year?
Dude #1: Yeah, but she wasn’t whack back then.
Dude #2: So it’s safe to say that you made her whack?
Dude #1: It was the crack that made her whack, I just cheated on her a lot.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Mykl
Girl to friend: I don't think I'm going to go into the water. I'm going out later, and sand in my crotch just makes me grumpy.
–Santa Monica Beach, California
Young guy in floral: Are you supposed to wear underwear under these things?
Friend in plaid: I mean, you don't have to… but I do.
–Robert Moses, Long Island, New York
Girl to friends on boardwalk: Were you there when that naked guy walked into the shower?!
–Jones Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: BGonz
Girl to friends: You know what tastes great? Scrambled chicken abortions…
–Tampa, Florida
