Friends

Girl #1: But you were dancing with that guy…
Girl #2: Which guy?
Girl #1: The guy with the hard-on.
Girl #2: Which one?

–South Beach, Miami, Florida

Overheard by: Ladle

Girl #1: Yeah, my mom wants me to go to this party, but I don’t wanna go alone. Wanna come?
Girl #2: Is it Tina’s party?
Girl #1: … Did you just ask me if it was a penis party?

–Clearwater, Florida

Overheard by: Hana

Chick #1: Is it just me, or does that baby over there have really broad shoulders?
Chick #2: Maybe you should get his number.

–Oscoda, Michigan

Overheard by: Kate

Fisherman #1, watching freshly caught ray: What is that?!
Fisherman #2: It's some kind of mutant fish!

–Tip of Steeplechase Pier, Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Liam

Guy #1: Okay, dude — if you could, which one of us would you sleep with?
Queer, looking back and forth, then staring at Guy #2: I have been dreaming of sitting on your face and using your ears as bicycle pedals…
Guy #2: Uh… What?

–Papas and Beer, Ensenada, Mexico

Overheard by: Alcaeus

Girl to friend: You just took four Clonazepam. How are you not having a good time?

–Luna Park, Coney Island

Meth-adict-looking girl: I was born by a massive gay orgy.
Friend: I wish I was born by something…

–Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: Zach

Woman #1: He’s gay, do you really think he has a chance with a straight guy?
Woman #2: Look, we have more of a chance than he does and we have no chance.

–Boca Raton, Florida

Overheard by: Dawne

[Three ten-year-old boys cycling past the beach.]Boy #1: Why you going so fast?!
Boy #2: [Missing front teeth, which makes him lisp.] Becauth he wath fucking her latht night!
Boy #3: What?!!!

–Lake Calhoun Beach, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: They grow up quickly these days!

Macho 20-something guy to macho friends: Hmm, I don't know. I'm just feeling a little bi-curious today.

–Huntington Beach, California

Overheard by: roxana