Feelings

Early 30s woman: I was feeling bad, like I wasn’t on schedule or something. Then I saw who she was marrying and I didn’t feel so bad.

–Lake Michigan, Illinois

Overheard by: Midwest Values

Drunk guy: I’m scared of you… You look dangerous, like you could beat somebody up.
Drunk girl: What? Why?
Drunk guy: It’s the headband, you look like you know karate.
Drunk girl: I don’t know karate, I know yoga.

–Beaufort, South Carolina

Overheard by: Wish I had that logic….

Drunk girl, holding a can of Milwaukee’s Best, sadly: …I feel bad for Milwaukee.

–Santa Barbara, California

Four-year-old girl: Daddy! Why did you knock over my sandcastle?!
Dad: Because you knocked over my sandcastle first.
(dad coolly turns to two-year-old son and begins playing with him)
Four-year-old girl, in hysterics: Daddy! I'm so angry at you!
Mom: Good honey, you're expressing your feelings really well.

–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire

Macho 20-something guy to macho friends: Hmm, I don't know. I'm just feeling a little bi-curious today.

–Huntington Beach, California

Overheard by: roxana

Southern belle: If I had gotten on that boat, I would have met the man of my dreams. We would have had an amazing time and I would have fallen madly in love. Then I'd go back to Arkansas and he'd forget about me, just like all the rest of them.
Friend: Yeah… Need a smoke?
Southern belle: Yes! Do you have menthol? I love menthol.

–Fort Myers Beach, Florida

Worried surfer: I’ve been out here four hours and my knob still hasn’t changed color!

–Coogee Beach, Sydney, Australia

Middle-aged lady #1: He keeps calling me on the cell phone telling me he’ll be right there and I’m like, ‘I’ve been waiting 25 years, I’m leaving!’
Middle-aged lady #2: And my poor granddaughter is there, and we’re all hugging on each other…

–Cabrillo Beach, California

Overheard by: confused

Rented Segway guy with a helmet to another: You feel really cool, but you don't *look* really cool.

–Venice Beach, California

Overheard by: byrneout

Teenage girl: I hate my sister so much… She's so fat! And I just really hate fat people.

–Cedar Creek Beach, Nebraska