Overheard At The Beach 2018-11-15T21:19:41Z https://overheardatthebeach.com/feed/atom/ WordPress https://overheardatthebeach.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/cropped-beach-favicon-32x32.png beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[Why Bill Got Fired from His Weatherman Gig]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=1060 2018-11-15T21:19:41Z 2018-11-15T21:19:41Z Tourist: What a beautiful day! If it were a girl I’d take her home and eat her pussy out all night!

–Nags Head, North Carolina

beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[And Beginning to Regret the Decision to Have Children Late in Life]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=438 2018-11-15T08:40:14Z 2018-11-15T08:40:14Z Child: Mommy, how old are you?
Mother: I am forty.
Child: [counting on fingers] Jeez, Mommy, you’re running out of numbers.

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[…With an Expandable Panel in Front.]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=1595 2018-11-14T19:53:08Z 2018-11-14T19:53:08Z Girl on phone: I have good news and bad news! The good news is I'm not pregnant. The bad news is I need new jeans!

–San Diego, California

Overheard by: Grossed out but laughing

beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[When I Was Supposed to Be Attending My Daughter's Graduation]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=1214 2018-11-14T07:38:23Z 2018-11-14T07:38:23Z 58-year-old woman: I executed 23 successful ops in my Utopia game last night.

–Holden Beach, North Carolina

beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[Jesus, Bitsy!]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=851 2018-11-13T19:23:04Z 2018-11-13T19:23:04Z Preppy 60-something #1: Now you only owe me 10,463 martinis.
Preppy 60-something #2: Yep, she owes me a bunch, too.

–Kennebunkport, Maine

Overheard by: Amused Locals

beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[And I'm Just Itching to Talk about It]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=893 2018-11-13T06:13:59Z 2018-11-13T06:13:59Z Four-year-old boy scampering on shore: She’s got crabs! She’s got crabs! She’s got crabs!
Mom wading in water: Stop saying that!
Four-year-old boy: But you do… They’re all over down there!

–Sharky’s Beach, Port Charlotte, Florida

beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[Not Our Sort at All]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=631 2018-11-12T16:50:07Z 2018-11-12T16:50:07Z Preppy guy #1: God, this place totally sucks.
Preppy guy #2: No, it’s fine. You just need to embrace your inner boat person.
Preppy guy #1: Jeffy, I think these are motor boat people.

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[I've Been Eating Kraft Macaroni for Years]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=147 2018-11-12T03:08:19Z 2018-11-12T03:08:19Z Kid #1: They put pears in my room. Did they put pears in your room?
Kid #2: Yeah, but they were horrible. They tasted like chocolate.
Kid #3: Do you mean they tasted like chalk?
Kid #2: Yeah.
Kid #1: Wait, how do you know what chalk tastes like?

–British Virgin Islands

Overheard by: A chocolate pear would be nice

beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[Except Freckles and His Friends, Which Is Really Tired]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=1684 2018-11-11T14:40:15Z 2018-11-11T14:40:15Z Girl #1: Oh wow, you got so many freckles today!
Guy: Why does everyone keep saying that? Do freckles come from the sun or something?
Girl #2: Um… yeah?
Guy: I just kinda thought they showed up. Like sometimes they're here, and sometimes they're not.
Girl #1: Um, no, it's not random. Like, I ate some cheese, so now I'm freckled.
Girl #2: Or, I'm really freckled cuz I'm tired.

–Paradise Beach, Mykonos, Greece

Overheard by: Jules

beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[Some Episodes Of To Catch a Predator Are Just Pathetic]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=1196 2018-11-11T02:39:32Z 2018-11-11T02:39:32Z Overweight woman chasing squirrley eight-year-old on the beach: Get over…boy! You get…boy! Boy! You lucky I can't run fast in this sand!

–Beach Boardwalk, Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: Go Kid Go!