Overheard At The Beach 2019-12-12T07:04:24Z https://overheardatthebeach.com/feed/atom beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[I'm Guessing The Sopranos]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=572 2019-12-12T07:04:24Z 2019-12-12T07:04:24Z Little girl: I’m gonna… I’m gonna cut off your head with a knife! Mother, shocked: Where did you hear that kind of language?! Little girl: Ummm, I don’t know… Mother: You must have heard it somewhere! Little girl: I made it up! … Is pepperoni meat? Mother: Yes. –Oceanside, California Overheard by:

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beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[Hey, I've Seen You Eat Molten Chocolate Cake]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=1277 2019-12-11T18:46:38Z 2019-12-11T18:46:38Z Elderly man, taking picture of his wife on the beach: You look like you're having an orgasm! Wife: How would you know? –Pass-A-Grille Beach, Florida Overheard by: The girl who almost ended up in the picture.

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beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[Mike Was Eventually Deported by Homeland Security]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=1806 2019-12-11T06:13:00Z 2019-12-11T06:13:00Z Mother: Go play with the other kids. Little boy, reading comic book: I don't want to. Mother: You're going to have fun! Mike, there's no “i” in “team”! Little boy: No, but there's an “m” and an “e.” Father: Well, shit! My kid's smart! –St. Augustine Beach, Florida Overheard by:

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beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[Just Say Galileo Was a Test-Tube Baby]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=643 2019-12-10T16:56:52Z 2019-12-10T16:56:52Z Boy: Dad, who’s more intelligent? The father or the son? Dad: The father, of course. Boy: Who invented the telescope? Dad: Galileo Galilei. Boy: Why didn’t his father? –Boracay, Philippines Overheard by:

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beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[Not Since That Elevator in New York!]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=838 2019-12-10T04:47:55Z 2019-12-10T04:47:55Z Guy on cell: That was the first time I shit my pants in a while! –Salem, Massachusetts Overheard by:

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beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[That's Not What "Swimmers Will Be Penalized" Means, Bobby.]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=1292 2019-12-09T16:13:38Z 2019-12-09T16:13:38Z Skinny hipster in the river: Then why the fuck are we swimming here if I could lose my fucking dick?! –Roanoke, Virginia Overheard by:

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beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[I Want to Be Loved for the Real Fake Me]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=118 2019-12-09T02:50:35Z 2019-12-09T02:50:35Z Teen boy #1: I think those girls look 14. Teen boy #2: No, dude, they gotta be 16. Teen boy #1: I am telling them I am 20. Teen boy #2: I am 17. Teen boy #1: No, dude, you got to use your fake age. Teen boy #2: Man, that’s why you got game. –Foster Avenue Beach, Chicago, Illinois Overheard by:

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beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[What's More Flattering Than Becoming Whacking Material?]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=1887 2019-12-08T14:04:25Z 2019-12-08T14:04:25Z Cute brunette in black bikini to boyfriend: Can we go? There's a guy over there filming us. Boyfriend: Where? Brunette: Over there, in the white shorts. What a creeper! (a few minutes after) Brunette's female friend: White shorts is going in the water. I hope he gets his camera wet. Brunette: It's actually kinda flattering. Boyfriend: First you're all insulted...

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beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[Wait, Where Are the Kids?]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=563 2019-12-08T01:23:01Z 2019-12-08T01:23:01Z Tourist lady #1: Do you think the melon is any good? Should I give it to the kids? Tourist man: Why? What’s wrong with it? Tourist lady #1: It was on the counter earlier for an hour or so. Tourist lady #2: Oh, no, I’d ask someone else. Tourist lady #1, loudly, to others in group: Do you think the melon is any good? I’m not sure I should give it to the kids. Group members: Why?

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beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[The Marketing Director Advises Santa's Purchasing Elf]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=115 2019-12-07T12:55:14Z 2019-12-07T12:55:14Z Girl on cell: Dude, you could buy a whole bag full of dildos, and he would never know. –Oceanside, California Overheard by:

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