Overheard At The Beach 2019-03-19T02:42:39Z https://overheardatthebeach.com/feed/atom https://overheardatthebeach.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/cropped-beach-favicon-32x32.png beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[I Think I've Seen This Vin Diesel Family Comedy…]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=1724 2019-03-19T02:42:39Z 2019-03-19T02:42:39Z Postman on cell: Yeah, I'm not a street gangsta–but I'm a gangsta in the house. I hold that shit down. Anybody can be all tough in the streets, but me, I got the house on lock.

–Rockaway Beach, New York

Overheard by: Tigertail

beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[Otherwise Known As Britney's New Fragrance Believe]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=1227 2019-03-18T14:14:30Z 2019-03-18T14:14:30Z Girl: I like the smell of that. What is it?
Guy: Garbage.

–Huntington Beach, California

Overheard by: zsaint

beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[Did That Guy Seem Juiced Up to You?]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=1283 2019-03-18T00:56:34Z 2019-03-18T00:56:34Z Skinny, half naked black guy wearing purple booty shorts: “do you guys do drugs?”
College kids: “no…”
Black guy: “oh I do…I'm a drug addict. Yeah, I just came from a rave, there are some crazy people out there! Why are y'all sitting here in the middle of venice beach? It gets dangerous here at night!”
College kid (holding an orange): “well, I'm strapped, so…”
Black guy: “is that an orange? Can I have it?” (takes orange and walks away).

–Venice Beach

Overheard by: Keidi

beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[How to Come Out to Your Mom: A Teenager's Guide]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=1360 2019-03-17T11:36:51Z 2019-03-17T11:36:51Z Teenage son: Mom, did dad ever kiss me? Like when I was little?
Mom: Your dad kissed you.
Teenage son: Yeah, but did he ever kiss me on the lips?
Mom: I'm not sure what you're asking.

–Cannon Beach, Oregon

Overheard by: Ann

beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[The House Used to Belong to a Black Man]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=146 2019-03-16T22:57:58Z 2019-03-16T22:57:58Z Lady: You have an awfully long deck.
Homeowner: Thanks… Oh, you said ‘deck.’

–Topsail Island, North Carolina

Overheard by: Jim

beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[In a Related Story, Keira Knightley Spotted Scouring the Beach for Buried Treasure]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=17 2019-03-16T10:28:10Z 2019-03-16T10:28:10Z Guy: My god, what is that?
Chick: What?
Guy: This thing here. Medical waste is washing up on the shore.
Chick: What are you talking about?
Guy: Right there. It’s a breast implant.
Chick: It’s a jellyfish, you ninny.
Guy: … I wondered why there were so many.

–Jersey Shore, New Jersey

beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[Get It Drunk and It'll Do Both at the Same Time]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=641 2019-03-15T21:49:12Z 2019-03-15T21:49:12Z Passenger: Excuse me, sir, but does that staircase go up or down?
Crew member: Yes.

–Boarding a cruise ship

beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[And Lived Happily Ever After]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=969 2019-03-15T09:06:36Z 2019-03-15T09:06:36Z 20-something college guy: So he was getting the anal beads pulled out, coming at the same time, and he shat all over this girl’s couch.
20-something college girl: Well then what did he do?
20-something college guy: I dunno, he probably wiped his ass and left…

–Casino Beach, Pensacola, Florida

beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[…Since, Technically, It's Thesis Research.]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=1668 2019-03-14T20:03:29Z 2019-03-14T20:03:29Z Blonde girl on cell: That's not fair! Just because I want to actively pursue a sexual relationship with my thesis advisor does not mean you can call me a whore! (long pause) My boyfriend says he doesn't care.

–Los Angeles, California

beach http://beach.wpengine.com <![CDATA[Unless You've Got Weed]]> http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=849 2019-03-14T07:34:12Z 2019-03-14T07:34:12Z Four-year-old to 12-year-old: You come over here every single day. No one likes you. Go back to your own camp.

–Lake Champlain, New York