Overheard At The Beach https://overheardatthebeach.com Wed, 03 Mar 2021 06:43:47 +0000 en-US hourly 1 Why It’s Better to Eat Vegetables https://overheardatthebeach.com/archives/215.html Wed, 03 Mar 2021 06:43:47 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=215 Girl: What is that?!Guy, flipping it over: Oh my God. Are those eye sockets?Girl: Ewww. That’s no jellyfish.Guy: It looks like an alligator head.Girl: But alligators aren’t in salt water. Maybe it got lost?Guy: Look it has a…spine?Girl: But a head wouldn’t have a-Woman sitting nearby: ‑It’s a chicken breast. I just threw it out.Girl and Guy: Oh. –St. Augustine, Florida Overheard by: Cristen...

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From Etymology to Racism in One Easy Step https://overheardatthebeach.com/archives/39.html Tue, 02 Mar 2021 17:43:57 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=39 Rich lady with yappy dog: Well, ‘Caucasian’ has ‘Asian’ in it. Then again, there’s a ‘turd’ in every ‘Saturday.’ –Golden Gardens Park, Seattle, Washington Overheard by: Disturbed...

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I Tried to Solve Both Problems by Eating Her https://overheardatthebeach.com/archives/891.html Tue, 02 Mar 2021 05:17:25 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=891 Big man: No, I never blamed my wife for me being fat. I blame her for me being a nympho… Not for being fat, though… –Virginia Beach...

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I Told You to Stop Wearing Your Father’s Clothes! https://overheardatthebeach.com/archives/170.html Mon, 01 Mar 2021 16:07:56 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=170 Small child: Mama, I have crabs in my shorts! –Panama City Beach, Florida Overheard by: People Watcher...

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No, Honey, When Daddy Said He Had Immunity, It Was Because He Testified https://overheardatthebeach.com/archives/97.html Mon, 01 Mar 2021 03:07:49 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=97 Little girl: I’m Italian, so I don’t get sick. –Mashpee, Cape Cod, Massachusetts Overheard by: Jill...

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…Aiight? https://overheardatthebeach.com/archives/1663.html Sun, 28 Feb 2021 14:28:15 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=1663 Scrawny brunette girl to friend: When you ‘ask’ someone, you have a question. When you ‘axe’ someone, you introduce a hatchet to their face. –Virginia Beach...

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Magic Elves Can’t Spell for Shit https://overheardatthebeach.com/archives/1306.html Sun, 28 Feb 2021 01:29:21 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=1306 Mother to child: What?! Is this writing on your arm? Oh, no…don’t say you don’t know! Tell me: was it a little magic elf that did this to you?! Was it?! –Sasco Beach, Fairfield, Connecticut Overheard by: halliefaith...

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Now in My Dotage, I Find Myself Embittered and Alone https://overheardatthebeach.com/archives/883.html Sat, 27 Feb 2021 13:23:58 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=883 12-year-old boy chasing group of younger kids: Damn punk kids! Damn disrespectful punk kids! When I was young, I had respect for my elders! –Cottesloe Beach, Perth...

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The Pink Sombrero was Both a Clue and a Red Herring https://overheardatthebeach.com/archives/392.html Sat, 27 Feb 2021 00:47:18 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=392 Teen girl #1: Was he gay?Teen girl #2: No, he was Mexican. –Lavallette...

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They’re Trying to Imagine a Black Dude, Obviously https://overheardatthebeach.com/archives/345.html Fri, 26 Feb 2021 12:34:18 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=345 Queer #1: Charles, look, there’s another one. He’s white, and the other looks Asian. Holds up large signs that say “6” and “4,” respectively. Queer #2: Definitely!Queer #1: Oh, wow. Look at this one. Latino. Yummmm! Holds up sign that says “9.” Queer #2: Oh, yes. Totally!Straight girl, walking by: What are you two doing? Comparing guys’ looks?Queer #1: Uhh…Queer #2: Breeder, please.

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