Overheard At The Beach https://overheardatthebeach.com Tue, 01 Dec 2020 02:46:39 +0000 en-US hourly 1 I Just Realized How Much I Miss The Golden Girls https://overheardatthebeach.com/archives/1468.html Tue, 01 Dec 2020 02:46:39 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=1468 Large mother to screaming child: Stop that screeching or I’ll cut out your larynx!Large mother to large sister: Where did she learn to screech like that?Large sister: I don’t know, ask the one in the wheelchair. (points to grandmother in wheelchair) –Ocean City...

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Oh No, Sorry, those are Just My Kidney Stones https://overheardatthebeach.com/archives/135.html Mon, 30 Nov 2020 14:01:30 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=135 Man #1: Man, I’ve got some sandy nuts. Sannndy nuuuts! Man #2: Dude, shake it over there. You’re getting your nut-sand all over me. –Ocean Beach, San Diego, California Overheard by: Daryl...

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You Know What’s Really Emo? Not Breathing. https://overheardatthebeach.com/archives/871.html Mon, 30 Nov 2020 00:36:59 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=871 Teen #1: Get out of the street! There’s a car coming.Teen #2, not moving: I don’t care.Teen #3: God, you’re so emo, it’s ridiculous. –Rockport, Massachusetts Overheard by: Avery...

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Your Editors Have Paid Extra for Titty Gum– True Story https://overheardatthebeach.com/archives/1582.html Sun, 29 Nov 2020 12:14:14 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=1582 Guy: Hey, do you have any gum?Annoying girl: Yeah, I do… You can’t have this one, but you can have this kind. (pulls gum out of bra)Guy: Ew! I don’t want that! It’s titty gum.Annoying girl: It’s not titty gum.Brunette girl: You can have some of my gum.Guy: Is it in your titties?Brunette girl, looking down shirt. Nope.Guy: Okay!

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I Was Wondering If I Might Borrow One of Your Mouths? https://overheardatthebeach.com/archives/720.html Sat, 28 Nov 2020 23:36:31 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=720 Middle-aged man: Hi, girls. I was wondering if I could borrow one of your magazines. My wife is really bored and forgot her book. I’ll give you a drink in return.Group of 20-ish girls: No problem. Here’s a People mag.Middle-aged man: Thanks. See ya.Middle-aged woman walks over laughing and whispers: Girls, my husband is so shy — I can’t believe he actually did that! And do you know what I have to...

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Chinese Kid: ‘Phew!’ https://overheardatthebeach.com/archives/238.html Sat, 28 Nov 2020 11:03:25 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=238 Awesome mom #1: Yeah, so they were going to adopt this baby from China, but when they saw her she was ugly and they decided not to get her.Awesome mom #2: Oh, really? That’s too bad. –Ferry Beach, Maine Overheard by: shawshank...

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And Lived Happily Ever After https://overheardatthebeach.com/archives/969.html Fri, 27 Nov 2020 22:26:53 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=969 20-something college guy: So he was getting the anal beads pulled out, coming at the same time, and he shat all over this girl’s couch.20-something college girl: Well then what did he do?20-something college guy: I dunno, he probably wiped his ass and left… –Casino Beach, Pensacola...

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Um, Officially I Was “Just Chubby” and My Daughter Is My Little Sister https://overheardatthebeach.com/archives/1342.html Fri, 27 Nov 2020 09:17:28 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=1342 Beach lady #1: Oh girls, last night I was watching 16 and Pregnant.Beach lady #2: My daughter watches that. Well, I think it is stupid! That would suck for those girls.Beach lady #1: How stupid are these kids these days? That’s why my daughter uses safe sex.Beach lady #2: Wait, weren’t you pregnant at 16? –Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina Overheard by: Emily...

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Tonight’s Movie: She Cloned Hitler https://overheardatthebeach.com/archives/692.html Thu, 26 Nov 2020 20:46:31 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=692 Dude on cell: Yeah, but dude, what could she have done that was so bad you had to hit her in the face with a bottle? –Monmouth Beach...

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Then It Would Be Lake Superior https://overheardatthebeach.com/archives/944.html Thu, 26 Nov 2020 08:01:02 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=944 Smart guy: The ocean would be so much better if there wasn’t salt in it. Then it’d be perfect. –Old Orchard Beach, Maine Overheard by: shawshank...

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