Archive for the ‘Fat people’ Category

Like Cock

Big Brooklyn dude #1: I really wanna see The Devil Wears Prada. I heard it’s the funniest movie ever.
Big Brooklyn dude #2: Yeah, man, but I really wanna read the book first.
Big Brooklyn dude #1: Yeah, yeah! It’s not just for chicks, man!
Big Brooklyn dude #2: It’s not just for chicks.

–Rockaway Beach, New York

Guess Mommy’s Never Seen a Real Woman

Woman to friend: Look at that woman. She so fat, we should call Greenpeace to roll her back in the ocean.
Little girl passing by fat woman: My mommy says Greenpeace should roll you back into the ocean!

–Zandvoort, Netherlands

Overheard by: Linda

Plus, That Species Of Dragon Has a Much Shorter Wingspan

College girl to college guys carving dragon in the sand: Ugh! What is wrong with you?! Dragons do not have such muscular arms!
College guy: Ours does!
College girl: I am torn: do I continue arguing about tiny dragon arms as if dragons are real or move on to mocking you for giving your dragon the biceps you wish you had?

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Randy Found Her Unresponsive, Cowlike Demeanor Strangely Arousing

Fat dude on awkward first date: Yeah, so that’s why I didn’t put ‘Let’s meet at Starbucks’ in my ad. ‘Let’s have a beer on the beach,’ you know?
Obese chick: Mmm-hmmm.
Fat dude: So… You don’t drink?
Obese chick: Hm-mmm.
Fat dude: So, it’s fair to say you have a problem with alcohol.
Obese chick: I don’t have a problem with it.
Fat dude, after long pause: So, what do you do? I mean, what other hobbies do you have?
Obese chick: I chew a lot of gum.

–Golden Gardens Park, Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Brooke