Woman to friend: Look at that woman. She so fat, we should call Greenpeace to roll her back in the ocean.
Little girl passing by fat woman: My mommy says Greenpeace should roll you back into the ocean!
–Zandvoort, Netherlands
Overheard by: Linda
Archive for the ‘Europe’ Category
The Last Guy Who Had Her Was a Bit Rough
Customer: Can I have a Stella [Artois]?
Bartender: Ermm… She’s not working today.
–Pool Bar, Ayia Napa, Cyprus
Moral: You Should Always Take Your Camera When There’s the Chance There Will Be Lesbians.
Teen male #1: I just saw two lesbians kissing in the water.
Teen male #2: What? Why didn’t you take a fucking picture?
Teen male #1: Right, I forgot to take my camera phone with me while diving into the water…
–North Crete, Greece
And Not the Exciting Kind
Little girl: What does that sign mean?
Father: That means ‘Pedestrians,’ sweetie.
Little girl: Are we pedestrians?
Father: Yes, we are.
Little girl: Oh… I thought we were Catholics.
–Beach near Amsterdam, North Holland, Netherlands
Overheard by: Daan
And It’s Not Polite to Refer to American Children As ‘Shit’
Tween girls: Mami, Mami, we saw shit floating in the water!
Mother: God, the sea is so big, just play somewhere else.
–Ibiza, Spain
Overheard by: thorsten
It’s the Proverbial ‘Place Where the Sun Don’t Shine’
Greek man: You are so white! Why are you so white?
Pale girl: I’m from England.
–Stalis, Crete
Overheard by: Another pale girl
… While the Producers of Fear Factor Waited in the Wings with Hepatitis Innoculations
Swedish guy: … So she had to shave her pussy and use a used razor she found in the trash.
–Barcelona, Spain
Overheard by: boxface
And in the Slums They Call Them ‘Lunch’
Little boy: Dad, what kind of birds are these?
Dad: Those are pigeons, but at the seaside they will call them ‘seagulls’!
–Ostseebad Damp, Germany
Overheard by: Pascal
She Has No Idea How Awkward Her First Sexual Experience Is Going to Be
Teen girl: I can’t believe I’m drunk! I’m drunk! In Italy! I am 17 and drunk. Oh yeah, and I’m with my parents! The first time I’m drunk, in a foreign country, under 21, with you people, and I’m in Italy?
Teen girl’s mother: It is better this way. At least you are with people who care.
–Nova Siri, Italy
Overheard by: only other american in the place
It’s Funny, She Says the Same Thing About You
Teen boy to friend: Shit, if I had known that there would be so many hot women on this beach, I’d never have taken my girlfriend with me!
–Pärnu, Estonia, Europe
