Dude on cell: Falling in love with me and sitting on my face are two completely different things.
–Maui, Hawaii
Overheard by: Matyis
Archive for the ‘Eating out’ Category
Miss Manners Says as Long as You Ask First, It’s Okay
Queer: That guy sooo just checked you out.
Hot chick: Should I go over there and ask to sit on his face?
Queer: Bianca.
Hot chick: What? I’m horny!
Queer: Me, too, now that I think of it.
–Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia
He Became a Dwarf Just So He Could Say That
Dwarf to drunk chick at bar: So, have you ever had a dwarf go up on you?
–Manistee, Michigan
Overheard by: Gabby
Or Whatever That Stuff in the Tortilla Is
Fiftyish guy to wife: Just for that, I’m not gonna eat your pussy tonight.
–El Cid, Cozumel, Mexico
His Girlfriend Has It Mo-We-Fr, Her Sister Tu-Th, and They Alternate Weekends
Dude #1: I wish she would just forgive me already. It’s been over a month.
Dude #2: Dude, you went down on her sister!
Dude #1: Well, yeah, exactly. It’s like the same pussy, right?
–Jacksonville Beach, Florida
And Throw Up a Hair Ball?
Trailer guy: So what about Beth?
Trailer girl with child nearby: Beth? Chuck, she can suck my fat pussy.
–Madeira Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Mark
Dear Tony– More Vinegar, Less Garlic — Love, Marsha
Ghetto chick #1: Yo, girl, I can smell you from here.
Ghetto chick #2: Girl, what you talkin’ ’bout? You better be talkin’ ’bout my lotion.
Ghetto chick #1: No, girl! I’m talkin’ ’bout your pussy.
Ghetto chick #2: You crazy, girl. Tony ate it out last night. Ain’t nothin’ in there to smell!
Ghetto chick #1: Maybe it’s just the nigga’s breath, then.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: karen g.
Why Bill Got Fired from His Weatherman Gig
Tourist: What a beautiful day! If it were a girl I’d take her home and eat her pussy out all night!
–Nags Head, North Carolina
But Don’t Tell Him About the Time We Fucked!
Chick #1: You were a complete whore last night.
Chick #2: Look who’s talking! Do I have to mention the time you let Derek go down on you?
Chick #1: Bitch! That guy over there can hear you!
Chick #2: So what?
Chick #1: Listen to how you’re talking about me and my brother. He’s gonna think I’m a complete skank!
Chick #2: I said Derek. He didn’t know who the fuck Derek was until you opened your fuckin’ mouth.
Chick #1: Uh, yeah, I guess you’re right…
–Panama City Beach, Florida
Overheard by: That guy over there
