Housemate: So, last night I was so high on acid that I thought the whole beach was made of cocaine, and now I can’t breathe.
–Brazil
Overheard by: living with morons
Housemate: So, last night I was so high on acid that I thought the whole beach was made of cocaine, and now I can’t breathe.
–Brazil
Overheard by: living with morons
Girl running along shore: Smoke weed every day!
Black lady on beach blanket: Hallelujah! Come here, baby!
Girl runs to black lady, who stands and hugs her and kisses her.
Black lady: Smoke weed, God bless you!
–Seaside Heights, New Jersey
Overheard by: t-money
Stoned girl #1: You know what's awesome? If you look up, you see the moon and the stars, and it's like you're looking at space.
Stoned girl #2 (munching Parmesan crackers): Whoooaaa.
–Saint Petersburg, Florida
Overheard by: i was stoned and it sounded cool at the time, too.
Meth-adict-looking girl: I was born by a massive gay orgy.
Friend: I wish I was born by something…
–Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Zach
Guy holding up little wooden container: We could get this for Bill.
Girl: Oh! For his pot!
Guy, looking over girl’s shoulder at elderly woman behind her: … Or stuff.
–Labadee, Haiti
16-year-old on phone: So he tried to sell you heroin?
–North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: That guy
Dude #1: Ah, see that girl?
Dude #2: Yeah.
Dude #1: She is whack.
Dude #2: Didn’t you date her for like a year?
Dude #1: Yeah, but she wasn’t whack back then.
Dude #2: So it’s safe to say that you made her whack?
Dude #1: It was the crack that made her whack, I just cheated on her a lot.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Mykl
Mom in bikini: She's had an on-and-off boyfriend since september, and it's been nothing but drama. I'm trying to get her to stop answering his calls. He's trouble. He overdosed in October and he hasn't passed a class in four years. One time he called her cell phone from a number that wasn't his, and she asked whose phone he was calling from, and he said, “your house phone.” He sneaked into our house when no one was home!
Mom in one-piece: Maybe you should think about a restraining order.
Mom in bikini: Well…
(phone rings: it's the daughter)
Mom in bikini: No! I told you not to answer his calls! And do not call him back! If you call him back, his mother will go to the police! She called me today and told me they're thinking about taking out a restraining order against you!
–Belmar, New Jersey
Police officer: You’re under arrest for underage drinking in public.
American teen: But they’re from Canada, officer!
Police officer: Got any marijuana in your purse?
–Sandestin, Florida
Overheard by: proudcanadian
Stoned surfer #1: Hey, remember that time when that shoe washed up that had a foot in in it?
Stoned surfer #2: Oh, yeah! And that dog got it and was running around with it and wouldn’t let anyone have it? That was hilarious.
Stoned surfer #1: Totally.
–Bolinas, California
Overheard by: didn’t think it was hilarious then or now
