Drinking

Drunk college boy: Come get drunnnk!
Sober college girl: Nah I have a massive exam tomorrow, I gotta study.
Drunk college boy: Study… Like a fish.

–Gold Coast, Australia

Underage girl #1: Yeah, but I’m not going to feel okay using my ID if everyone here is from Ohio. They’re going to know it’s fake.
Underage girl #2: Shhh… There’s people in here.
Underage girl #1: I don’t care.
Girl in stall, coming out to wash hands: I know what you guys mean about the Ohio thing. Minivans… I just moved here from New York.
Underage girl #1: Oh?
Girl from stall: I hate it here. I just had a baby. He’s three months old, without a father…
Underage girl #2: Oh my god. I’m so sorry…
Girl from stall: Then my dad left us. He left our family after 25 years. He left us all behind.
Underage girl #1: Oh, uh…
Girl from stall: It’s alright. Have a nice night.

–Hilton Head, South Carolina

Overheard by: Awkward…

Little girl: Look! I can fit an entire Gatorade cap in my mouth! (demonstrates)
Teenage boy to teenage girl: That girl's going places.

–Long Beach Island, New Jersey

Old guy on oxygen: So, how many more beers can I have??

–Sandbridge, Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Mike

Betty Ford dropout: I hate it when you close your eyes and you feel the alcohol, but when you open them you don't.

–Ocean City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Danny

Skinny white guy: I think I need to go sit in the shade for a while.
Skinny less-white guy: What?! If you are going to talk crazy, I need you to be drunk.

–Will Rogers Beach, Santa Monica, California

Overheard by: Panda

Guy to date: Careful, you're about to spill that soda on yourself.
Girl: Yeah. Well hey, what's one more liquid splashed all over my body today?
Guy: Uh… What?
Girl: Oh. Uh… what?

–Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: tner

Spring break girl #1, holding cereal: I think I’ll have this for breakfast.
Spring break girl #2: I’m having alcohol for breakfast.
Spring break girl #1, putting cereal back: Oooh, good idea!

–Panama City Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Lsquared

Drunk girl, holding a can of Milwaukee’s Best, sadly: …I feel bad for Milwaukee.

–Santa Barbara, California

Husband: Babe, we need to pick up another 12 pack and then go get the kids.
Wife: Finish your beer first.

–Chick’s Beach, Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Mike