Waspy overexcited college guy: And then after? Can we suck helium? Please!
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: kgw
Archive for the ‘Delaware’ Category
You Say This “Clitoris” Actually Has a Purpose?
Middle-aged woman to friend: Well, she had to get it long before she could use it.
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Tim Berzins
Dude, That Is the Shittiest Ghost Story in the Whole World
Dude: … So I’m, like, sitting there and she just keeps staring at me! So you know what I did? I threw my pizza crust at her forehead… And she started to bleed! I mean, that was some hard pizza crust, man! And you know what did said? Nothing! She just kept staring!
–Dewey Beach, Delaware
Just Pretend You’re Asleep in Bed, Honey
Small boy running back from the ocean: Mom! I have to pee!
Mom: Just go in the ocean.
Boy: I tried, but the waves kept pushing my pants back up!
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
We Could Call Ourselves ‘The Circle Jerks’ — Unless that’s Taken
Shirtless meathead #1: This is awesome. We should start a shirts-off club.
Shirtless meathead #2: Yeah. We could call it ‘Shirtless in Seattle.‘
Shirtless meathead #3: But we don’t live in Seattle.
–Dewey Beach, Delaware
I Miss Her
Father pointing to ocean: Hey, John, look at the dolphins! [Seven-year-old boy looks around, not seeing them.] You’re missing them! You’re missing them like you miss everything! You’re just like your mother!
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Got to remember that for when I am a parent
Maybe Try the Saran Wrap Off a Sub
Drunk guy in line on cell: I don’t see any rubbers here, so are you okay with “pull & pray?” (pause) You know I’m not gonna pull out, right?
–Dewey Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: I really hope they don’t procreate…
You Could Have Had a Friend in Pennsylvania, But Nooo…
Tourist guy: I hate these tourists! They think they’re so cool, just coming down for the weekend in their little homes, fucking up the traffic and making parking difficult. Go home!
Local teen: Your license plate says you’re from Pennsylvania.
Tourist guy: I rent for the summer. I guess I’m kinda like you, in a sense.
Local teen: Bitch, please.
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: beach native
I Thought It Was That Everyone’s White and Hairy
Girl: Hm. Which way should we sit? Where’s the sun?
Guy: Yeah. See, that’s what’s wrong with East Coast beaches. The sun ends up, like, behind you.
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: kev
Just Wait ’til Prom, Buddy
Teen boy, looking at boogie board: Oh, man… My nipples are gonna get it.
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Kate H
