Skinny drunk girl with dense philosophy textbook: I like peeing when necessary, I like peeing when unnecessary. Whenever, wherever. As long as I get arrested for it, that’s all I ask. Is that too much to ask?
–Jericho Beach, Vancouver, Canadia
Overheard by: Jericho
Little girl: Do you have a boyfriend?
Older girl: Not right now.
Little girl: Do you kiss guys on the lips?
Older girl: Well…
Little girl: Do you kiss your dad on the lips?
Older girl: Not that I can remember, no.
Little girl: You don’t kiss your dad on the lips? I kissed mine on the lips this morning!
–Palm City, Florida
Overheard by: MBD
Girl #1: I love Italian men. And black men.
Girl #2: Didn’t you date a half black, half Italian man?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: So where’s the ring?
Girl #1: He went back to jail.
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Genevieve
Big mama in bathroom stall with daughter: Hurry up and pee!
Young girl: Mommy, I can’t pee with other people around!
Big mama: Honey, if and when you go to jail, you gonna hafta pee in front of other people.
–Scarborough Beach, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Riley
Seven-year-old girl to friend: Kyle says he’s going to go through all the girls’ bags and steal their undies.
–Outdoor Swimming Pool, Victoria, Australia
Overheard by: Mr. E
Man, carrying two hands full of knives: Knives for sale! Knives for sale! 100 dollars! Getting tired of your brother, your cousin, your mother-in-law? Knives for sale! You feeling suicidal? Knives! Knives for sale! 100 dollars!
–Montego Bay, Jamaica
Overheard by: Elle
Cute toddler to friends: Whoever has a dog, raise your hand… so I can murder it!
–Belmar, New Jersey
Overheard by: Willy
Pale nerd to posse: So I took out my super big blue Chakra shotgun and I said…
–Seal Beach, California
Older man: Look, if you’re really worried about it…
Younger woman, with full mouth: I am! I’m having trouble sleeping.
Older man: Then you should get a restraining order.
–Beach Footpath, Australia
Overheard by: I Wish I Heard the Start
Wife: Frank, you heard about the 11 second rule?
Husband, staring at hot nude chick nearby: What?
Wife: The 11 second rule. If the cops catch you staring at breasts for more than 11 seconds, you have to go to jail.
Husband: No way.
Wife: And keep in mind, there are lots of gay men on this beach.
–Race Point Nude Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
