Guy: Why did you tell *Veronica that I had a small dick?
Girl: Because you do.
Guy: You could have at least told her I know how to use it.
Girl: You don’t!
–Discovery Bay, California
Guy: Why did you tell *Veronica that I had a small dick?
Girl: Because you do.
Guy: You could have at least told her I know how to use it.
Girl: You don’t!
–Discovery Bay, California
(group of awkward band geeks on the beach)
Girl #1: Did Dave* and Tina* go back to the house again?
Girl #2: Yes, the whole prom weekend all they have been doing is sneaking off to be alone.
Girl #1: You know they’ve been having sex all the time, don’t you?
(boy next to girl #2 sits up)
Girl #2: If you do it too much it’s not fun anymore.
–Trenton Avenue, Sea Girt, New Jersey
Overheard by: Girt Girl
Postman on cell: Yeah, I'm not a street gangsta–but I'm a gangsta in the house. I hold that shit down. Anybody can be all tough in the streets, but me, I got the house on lock.
–Rockaway Beach, New York
Overheard by: Tigertail
Townie broad #1: You can tell how a man treats a woman by how he treats his bike.
Townie broad #2: Bill keeps his in the garage and hasn't ridden it in five years.
–Point Pleasant, New Jersey
Guy to date: Careful, you're about to spill that soda on yourself.
Girl: Yeah. Well hey, what's one more liquid splashed all over my body today?
Guy: Uh… What?
Girl: Oh. Uh… what?
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: tner
Woman #1: Now you see that dude right there? That one in the green swim trunks.
Woman #2: Okaaaaay, yeah, I see him. The one with the red hair that's skimboarding?
Woman #1: Yeah, him. Now, I would so hook up with him. Look at those abs. Don't you just wanna run your hands all over him?
Girl slathered in tanning oil, staring at them: That's my boyfriend.
Woman #2: Oh. How long have you guys been going out?
Girl: Four months. What's it to you?
Woman #1: Just weighing our chances.
Girl: Chances of what?
Woman #2: Sleeping with him.
(girl makes disgusted noise and walks away).
Woman #2: Don' t worry, Shar. She's hideous. We'll follow them when they leave and the next time they go to a club or something, we'll hunt him down and get what we want.
Woman #1: We always do. Wait…which one of us gets to sleep with him? (they glance at each other, saying nothing) I've got a bigger rack.
–Pismo Beach, California
Overheard by: Matilda
Girl #1: Oh wow, you got so many freckles today!
Guy: Why does everyone keep saying that? Do freckles come from the sun or something?
Girl #2: Um… yeah?
Guy: I just kinda thought they showed up. Like sometimes they're here, and sometimes they're not.
Girl #1: Um, no, it's not random. Like, I ate some cheese, so now I'm freckled.
Girl #2: Or, I'm really freckled cuz I'm tired.
–Paradise Beach, Mykonos, Greece
Overheard by: Jules
Girl #1: Oh my god, that guy looks just like Kevin Spacey!
Girl #2: I told you he was stalking me…
–Lake Michigan Shoreline, Michigan
Young girl, yelling: This isn't The Hills. This is real life!
–No Doubt & Paramore Concert, West Palm Beach, Florida
Cute Jewish on cell, to mother: Are you calling me just to fucking nag? Cuz if you are, I am hanging up. (pause) I don't know, I'm going to do what every Jew does on Christmas, go to the movies and eat Chinese food!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
