Young Boy: Mommy Mommy, they have Nemo in that fish tank!
Mom: Honey, Nemo’s dead.
–Antigua, the Caribbean
Overheard by: Ollie
Archive for the ‘Central America’ Category
You’re Thinking Of Middle School, Debbie
Spring breaker bimbette #1, about ordering drinks: And get Coco Rico, and Sex on the Beach…
Spring breaker bimbette #2, interrupting: Wait, isn’t there also something called Sex in the Basement?
–Tamarindo, Costa Rica
Overheard by: one of them spoke decent Spanish, at least
All Up in Your Hoo-Hoo Zone
Seven-year old boy: Those boys over there are looking at you.
Bronzed teen sister in bikini: Oh really? [Looks pleased.]Seven-year old boy: Yeah. I guess it’s cause you have that weird sunburn.
–Liberia, Costa Rica
Yet We Can’t Seem to Keep You Off Our Island
American tourist, to black islander carving a sculpture from a log: You people are so talented!
–Straw Market, Nassau, Bahamas
Overheard by: Dumbfounded Tourist
Can’t Be Hard to Find in a Bee Cup
Southern blonde to older, female family members: Aaaah, there’s a bee in my titties!
(commotion ensues)
Sketchy guy, loudly: I’ll look for it if you want.
–San Juan Beach, Puerto Rico
Marijuana: The Universal Language
Guatemalan teen, passing American teen on the beach: Quieres fumar?
American teen: Huh? What?
Guatemalan teen: Quieres fumar?
American teen: Bro, I don’t know what you’re saying. I don’t speak Mexican or whatever that is.
Guatemalan teen: Want smoke weed?
American teen: Oh. Hell yeah, why didn’t you say that the first time?
–Monte Rico, Guatemala
Overheard by: MangoJoe
But You Had to Get All Pissy about that Whole Rape Thing
Girl #1: Hey, see those guys we went out on the date with that time?
Girl #2: Where?
Girl #1: Up there with the big-ass cooler and grill. I told you we shoulda gone out on another date with them. We coulda been up there drinkin’ beer and eating hot dog right now.
–Cabbage Beach, Paradise Island, Bahamas
Overheard by: d
Payback’s a Bitch
Saggy-drawered kid: That woman carrying shit on her head.
Mother: Boy, you ain’t in Brooklyn anymore. This place different. And keep your voice down.
Saggy-drawered kid: Hell, she don’t speak English. And what the hell computer boy gonna do, report me to the internet?
–Tela Beach, Honduras
Overheard by: Computer boy, I assume
No, It’s Actually for Vacationers Who Need a Change of Pace
Teen tourist: Oh my God, there’s a high school over there! Wait, does that mean people actually live here? I thought it was just a tourist place. Weird.
–Aruba
Lucky He Didn’t Order a Sex on the Beach
Tourist guy: Can I get a banana daiquiri with dark rum?
Dominican Bartender: Sí.
Tourist guy receives a banana daiquiri in one glass and another full of dark rum.
–Punta Cana, Dominican Republic
Overheard by: Devon
