Angry woman: You touchin’ my weave!
–Coney Island, New York
Archive for the ‘Black people’ Category
And Stay Out of Iowa
Black guy playing drums, smiling at toddler nearby: Hi, sweetie. What you thinkin’? [Passing white lady tourist takes picture, and black guy frowns.] I respect you, too! Do I take a picture of you at the insurance office in Iowa?!
White lady tourist: Well, I–
Black guy: –Step off, bitch! [Turns back to little girl] Don’t grow up to be like her, baby girl.
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: This place sure has changed since the 80s
Translation: the Ocean Scares Me
Young black male: Yo, I wish this was an urban beach. Like Chicago.
–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina
‘Cause, If So, It’s Totally Your Turn
A black man cuts in line ahead of two anorexic JAPs.
Anorexic JAP #1: Why are we here again?
Anorexic JAP #2: Ugh, I know! This would never happen back in Boca!
Black man: Eat something, you Jewish popsicles!
Anorexic JAP #1: Did he just ask us to give him a blowjob?
–Deerfield Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Laughing
Great White Ones!
Little black kid: Why can’t we go in the pool?
Friend: What pool? That ain’t no pool, nigga, it’s got sharks in it!
–Coney Island Boardwalk, New York
As Long As You Promise to Stop Saying “Motion Of the Ocean”
Ghetto black girl, about Lil Wayne: Nah, I wouldn’t fuck him, he too short!
Ghetto white girl: Shit, he short but I bet he know the motion of the ocean! You know he do! I’d let him in right in me, yeah I would!
–Santa Cruz, California
Psst– Now It’s More Fashionable to Blame the Muslims.
Black girl with southern accent: If the world ends it’s dem negro’s fault.
–Tampa, Florida
There’s Tan, and Then There’s Snookie Tan.
Black man to extremely dark black woman: Come out of the shade! Don’t you want to get tan?
–Aruba
Overheard by: Cassidy
What? I Didn’t Say It Was Me.
60-something African-American beggar: Send a nice Jewish boy through college. Send a nice Jewish boy through college…
–Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: drsteve
God Helps Those Who Help Themselves
Old black lady finishes pooping and flushes: Oh, thank you, Jesus! [Hums gospel tune.]
–Miami Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Lauren
