Stoner #1: When I first tried weed, I did not inhale.
Stoner #2: You know, I’ve always wondered why they called it a blow job…
Stoner #1: Why? Did you want one?
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: Max
Archive for the ‘BJs’ Category
Worth a Try
Jock #1: Did you see him at the party last night? I mean, what the hell?
Jock #2: Dude, he’s such a fag.
Jock #1: I heard he swallows.
Jock #2: What’s his name again?
Jock #1: Eric.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Who Says Romance Is Dead?
Fat sweaty drunk boyfriend to fat sweaty drunk girlfriend: Babe… I don’t ever want you to have to suck my cock for money again.
–Jersey Shore
Overheard by: Five Minutes Later A Stranger Grabbed My Hair and Smelled It
Something I Probably Would Never Do in Front of You
Boyfriend to girlfriend’s underage sister: Want a beer? [Girlfriend and little sister stare at him.] What? It’s not like I asked her to blow me.
–Treasure Island Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Sara
Where Would Human Civilization Be Without That Phrase?
Mom to young child eating a Popsicle: Stop putting that in your mouth! It’s done, there’s nothing left.
Young woman nearby: That’s what he said.
–Long Beach Island, New Jersey
Overheard by: Tara
The Interior Class Struggle
Queer #1: That guy in the blue footy shorts is so hot!
Queer #2: Ewww, Matt, he looks lower class.
Queer #1: We suck cock for a living — you really think we’re classy?
Queer #2: Well, I know I am. I dress in nothing but designer.
–Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Hot Chick
I Love a Girl Who Can Handle Her Balls
70-year-old man at bar: I got prostate cancer back in the day, so I can lick ’em, but I can’t dick ’em.
Almost legal girl: Oh? (laughs)
70-year-old man: You’re very well-built for your age. (stares at girl’s breasts) You wanna play pool with me?
–Palm Coast, Florida
Weirdest. Carnival Game, Ever.
Girl to surfer boy: If your dick is big as this ice cream I’ll throw the ice cream in the trash and lick your dick!
–Santa Monica, California
But If That’s the Theme Of Your Sweet 16…
Teen girl to giggly friend: Well, it’s not my favorite thing to have that kind of shit in my mouth.
–Lido Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Alyssa
A Suck for Breakfast, a Suck for Lunch, and a Sensible Dinner
Boyfriend, offering a sip of shake: Here, have some.
Girlfriend: No, I’m okay.
Boyfriend: Have some, it’s protein!
Girlfriend: No! I’ll just suck your dick later.
Boyfriend: [Silence.]
–South Beach Florida
