Awww, Gay

Queer #1: Oh my god, I used to eat Little Debbies all the time! I would have a Little Debbie and a Coke for breakfast every day.
Queer #2, intensely: I fucking loved Little Debbies.

–Publix, South Beach, Miami, Florida

Loud gay man: Oh my gosh! Last time I saw you I was fucking your ass!

–Hillcrest, California

Overheard by: Brit-ta-nee

Gay boy 1: No! I will not tell people you have herpes when you don't!
Gay boy 2: Fine, whatever! Only a real friend would, anyway!

–Boca Raton, Florida

Overheard by: Michael

Drunk hobo to group of gay guys: That's why I love South Beach. It's gay, gay, gay!

–Lincoln Road, Florida

Overheard by: David

Large gay man on bike, calling back to others: Come on, guys! We're going to miss the Origami!

–Provincetown, Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Overheard by: mj

Crazy bag lady: I’m Ozzy’s mommy!
Queer: No, you’re not! You’re a fucking gross woman who carries around used clothes and a knapsack full of tissues! Plus, Ozzy sucks!
Crazy bag lady: Fag!

–St. Petersburg, Florida

Gay man to another: You are to florist shops as others are to tattoo parlors.

–St. Michaels, Maryland

Overheard by: I am to shoe stores

Queer: … And when he finished on my ass he said, ‘Hold on,’ and took a step backward and did a back flip!

–St. Augustine Beach, Florida

Aussie queer: I know that guy’s gay. That’s got to be his sister. A minute ago a guy came walking up to him that had the same look — tattoos, short hair… That’s usually a giveaway, right? Monkey’s face.
American queer: Monkey’s face? What’s that mean? Is that another Australian colloquialism?
Aussie queer: No, I was just saying the guy’s face looked like a monkey.

–Bronte Beach, Australia

Queer: So, like, let me get this straight. God got this lady pregnant and made her have a baby and then killed it so you could get away with whatever shit you wanted as long as you felt sorry?
Christian guy: Wow… I’ve never heard it put that way…
Queer: Sorry, I meant he killed him, it was a boy.

–Santa Cruz, California