Dude #1: You know, that guy we call Ass.
Dude #2: You call the guy Ass? Why?
Dude #1: Because he smells like ass. Do you want to hear the rest of my story or not?
–Plum Island, Massachusetts
Archive for the ‘Ass’ Category
You’d Think It’d Come Out Along with the Condom
Teen boy: Let’s go back in the water since I have sand in my ass.
–San Clemente Beach, California
Overheard by: Wanted to kill this kid
Probably Has Something to Do with the Location of His Brain
Dad, about bald passerby: That guy is really bald!
Daughter: Dad, you have more hair on your butt than your head.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Ryan
Now Go Make Friends
Mother: Do you know how dogs introduce themselves to each other?
Eight-year-old daughter: No, how?
Mother: They sniff each other’s butts.
–Guam
Overheard by: Nadine
And Cincinnati is Next!
Girl #1: I cannot believe she thinks she can get away with wearing a thong!
Girl #2: Um, I don’t think it’s supposed to be a thong.
Girl #1: You mean her ass ate her bathing suit?
–Point Pleasant, New Jersey
Overheard by: Emily
How to Say “Yes” in Californian
Girl: Are you going to go back to 24 Hour Fitness?
Guy: Gayness in my anus…
–Pacific Beach, California
How’d It Get in Your Mouth Again?
Girl: I lost my butthole! Oh, wait, there it is!
–Old Orchard Beach, Maine
Overheard by: Misaki
And Lived Happily Ever After
20-something college guy: So he was getting the anal beads pulled out, coming at the same time, and he shat all over this girl’s couch.
20-something college girl: Well then what did he do?
20-something college guy: I dunno, he probably wiped his ass and left…
–Casino Beach, Pensacola, Florida
…Just Like Dear Abby Recommends.
Girl to friend: Fuck me up the ass, just don’t tell me you love me!
–Manitowoc, Wisconsin
What? A Butt’s a Butt, Right?
Dude #1, looking at girl’s butt: I’d say about a six.
Dude #2: Yeah… Out of a hundred!
Dude #1: Okay, fine. What about her… Eight?
Dude #2: Nah.
Dude #1: Well, what do you think?
Dude #2: That man’s about an eight.
Dude #1: Dude…
–Gold Coast, Australia
