Archive for 2019

We Raised Him Free Range

Four-year-old sprays woman with his giant water gun, and doesn’t stop after she warns him repeatedly.

Woman: I’m going to talk to his parents! [Stomps to nearby cafe.] Who is responsible for this child?
Parent: Sorry. What did the little fucker do this time?

–Marmaris Beach, Turkey

It's Not Channel Ocho?

Man: Honey, I don’t think this off-board thing is very safe.
Wife: Why not?
Man: There are so many Mexicans here…
Wife: We’re in fuckin’ Mexico!

–Mexican cruise

Overheard by: Lydia

Or Was That Rottweilers?

Female tourist: So, how do they know where the islands are every day?
Male tourist: They’re chained to the sea floor so they don’t drift too far.

–Cinnamon Bay, St. John, U.S. Virgin Islands

Overheard by: stephen

And because She's Your Sister

Drunk law student, down on one knee: Will you marry me?
Drunk girl he just met, giggling: Of course!
Drunk law student to friend five minutes later: That’s not binding if it’s just oral, right?

–Daytona Beach, Florida

And Started Wearing Prada Loafers

Girl #1: So…plans for tonight?
Girl #2: Yeah, actually. I'm going out with Beto. He just moved to Niterói with his boyfriend.
Girl #1: Wait. What? His *boyfriend*? So he finally came out, eh?
Girl #2: Well…he didn't come out per se. He just said, “So, this is my boyfriend, Bruno.”

–Ipanema Beach, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil