Archive for 2019

I Plan to Ménage à Trois with You

Older sister on cell speakerphone: Are you looking forward to seeing me on Friday?
Little sister: I am!
Older sister: You’re probably not looking forward to seeing Mike, though, are you?
Little sister: No, I’m looking forward to seeing him, too.
Mike, though speakerphone: Hah!

–Sea Isle City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Cols

They Seem So Happy…Oh, Wait…

Teen girl #1: Oh, I’m so happy for Candice!* She finally has a normal boyfriend!
Teen girl #2: Oh, that’s nice…Wait, is it that 29-year-old E dealer you guys met at that rave in Chilliwack?
Teen girl #1: Yes!

Long pause.

Teen girl #1: Well, it’s normal for her, I guess.

–English Bay, Vancouver, British Columbia