Archive for May, 2019

But Then I Stopped Pretending

Queer #1: Oh my god, I used to eat Little Debbies all the time! I would have a Little Debbie and a Coke for breakfast every day.
Queer #2, intensely: I fucking loved Little Debbies.

–Publix, South Beach, Miami, Florida

The Obesity Epidemic is Starting Younger and Younger, You Know

Vendor: Okay, here’s your small fries and Diet Coke. Will that be all?
Lady: That’s a Diet Coke, right?
Vendor: Right, I just poured it. Diet Coke.
Lady: You’re sure? Diet? Not regular?
Vendor: That’s right. It’s Diet Coke.
Lady: Because I’m pregnant and I don’t want to harm my baby, so I can only have Diet Coke until my due date.

–Garry Point, Richmond, British Columbia, Canadia

Overheard by: appalled customer waiting for fish and chips