Archive for 2018

What Happens When You Take Sex Ed in North Carolina

Girl #1: Oh, man! So, for Christmas my dad is letting me get my cartilidge pierced! I’m so excited!
Girl #2: Oh, man, that’s so cool! I want to get mine done, too.
Girl #1: Yeah, I’ll only ever get my ears pierced. Everything else is so gross and weird.
Girl #3: Yeah, well, I have my clit pierced — do you think that’s weird?
Girl #2: What’s a clit?

–Nags Head, North Carolina

One Expects Better Of Florida White Girls

Teen girl #1: Ew! I didn't even know they had movies like this here!
Teen girl #2: What? Wedding Wars?
Teen girl #1, whispering: It's a gay movie! It's all about gay people!
Teen girl #2: Is not! It's just a comedy! (picks up the case and flips it over)
Teen girl #1: Oh my god! Put it down!
Teen girl #2: You're such a racist.

–Blockbuster, New Tampa, Florida

Yep, Sounds Like Him.

Six-year-old to mother: A big wave just came and knocked me down and carried me away and some lady helped me up.
Mother: Why didn't your father help you up?
Six-year-old, in sneering voice: Cuz he was too busy going “hahahahaha!”

–Bethany Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: just the Aunt