Hot chick: Like, oh my god, Sarah — just Google ‘How an ugly girl can seduce a hot guy.’
Ugly chick: What’s so good about Google anyway?
Hot chick: Like, oh my god — it’s like, well… Google!
–Glenelg, Australia
Archive for 2018
Since You Can't Say, "Everything Looks Great on That Bitch"
Chick #1: You know what would be the hardest job in the world?
Chick #2: What?
Chick #1: To emcee a fashion show. Oh my god, that must be so hard.
Chick #2: Oh, yeah.
–Capitola, California
Being a Theater Kid Is a Disability
Girl under umbrella: She said her two life goals are to grow a third arm and trip a cripple.
Mom (to friend): She’s a theater kid.
Friend: But still, I don’t see any reason to hurt a disabled person.
–Sea Isle City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Mary
When You Call Your Boyfriend That, We Feel You're Just Bragging
Large gay man on bike, calling back to others: Come on, guys! We're going to miss the Origami!
–Provincetown, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: mj
She Needs to Go to a PFLAG Meeting
Mom hands little boy a hot dog.
Little boy: Oh, thank you, Lord!
Mother: I am not the Lord!
Little Boy: Well, thanks, Mom.
Mother: I hate you.
–North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Sitting nearby, LOLing.
Especially When You're Screaming, 'I'm Not Gayyyyyyyy!'
Queer: It turns out sleeping with a deaf guy is awesome!
–Penn’s Landing, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Chris Newcomer
Hurry, They Stop Serving Passports at 11:00 A.M.!
Tour coach driver, gesturing to McDonald's restaurant further down the road: Aaaaand coming up ahead are the golden arches of the American embassy.
–TehanuNui, Nelson, New Zealand
Overheard by: Makenzie
When the Game Show Network Merged With the History Channel
Girl to friend: I'm going to name one of my friends Jew and the other one Hitler, so it would be like Family Feud.
–Tampa, Florida
At Least They Shower
Ghetto girl: …And so I broke up with him because he kept getting robbed. He had all these shady friends, ya know? It was like we’d wake up and the television and the shower curtain would be gone.
–Misquamicut Beach, Rhode Island