Archive for October, 2018

Isn't That a Game for Xbox 360?

Little girl, playing in pool at hotel: Nana, what beach are we at?
Older woman: Myrtle beach.
Little girl: Murder beach!
Rest of kids in pool: Murder beach! We're at murder beach!
Little boy: Hey, let's play murder beach. I'll kill you and rob your dead body!

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Overheard by: Marisa English

Absolute Motorpower Corrupts Absolutely

Angry old lady in motorchair: Where the hell have you been?! I’ve been all over this side of the lake, on the ferry, to the other side and back across here lookin’ for you!
Bewildered old man in motorchair: I was over there lookin’ for you.
Angry old lady: Whatever! Just come on! [Speeds off.]Bewildered old man, scared: But wait for me!

–Epcot’s International Village, Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: bakerchica

"Have You Seen the Tranny Man, the Tranny Man, the Tranny Man?"

20-something girl: Guys, did you see the man in the woman's swimsuit over there?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, yeah, I saw him…
20-something girl: He has man legs…
Teen girl #1: But from a distance he could totally pass as a flat chick.
20-something girl: He can really pull it off, too. He has the hat and the glasses and everything.
Teen girl #2: Where's the tranny man? I want to see the tranny man!

–La Jolla, California

Overheard by: La Jollan

How Business Gets Done

Gent #1: I’m having troubles casting for this part.
Gent #2: I know the perfect girl, but she’s young. Only 17.
Gent #1: Hmmm… That’s too young.
Gent #2: Yeah, but you could fuck her mom.

–Malibu, California

Overheard by: Wanker