Archive for March, 2018

And That's All I Know

Little boy from Georgia: My mom says y’all are Yankees.
Little boy from Connecticut: Uh-uh, not me. I’m a Red Sox.

–Pawley’s Island, South Carolina

Overheard by: Big girl from Connecticut

Like a Bump and Grind Moron, or a Quick Fingerbang Moron?

Guy #1: Have you ever had sex on the beach?
Guy #2: The drink or actual sex?
Guy #1: Actual sex.
Guy #2: With a girl?
Guy #1: What the hell else would I mean?! Yeah, with a girl!
Guy #2: Like, actually having sex on the sand, like, right here.
Guy #1: Yeah, like in the sand with a girl on the beach, having sex.
Guy #2: You mean, like, full-on bump and grind sex or a quick fingerbang?
Guy #1: Sex, man, sex!
Guy #2: Because there are many types of sex, like anal and oral…
Guy #1: Full fucking sex! Just answer the question! Have you had sex on the beach? Jesus!
Guy #2: No, man, I haven’t.
Guy #1: You’re a fucking moron.

–Panama City, Florida

Overheard by: walking behind them trying not to bust a gut