Archive for 2017

Which Was Good, because I Didn't

Blonde: Wait, do Jewish people burn or tan?
Meathead: Well, some are pasty and some are really dark.
Blonde: Yeah, ’cause, like, she’s Jewish and she gets a tan. I came into work the other day and my hair was curly, and everyone was like, ‘Whoa!’ But then I told them I’m half-Jewish, so they understood.

–Manchester by the Sea, Massachusetts

Overheard by: i burn and i’m not

Is He Wearing a Patch or a Kippah?

Guy: So how’s Bob?
Girl: He’s okay. They went in and found the tumor and took it out. They still need to do a biopsy to see what it is, but they think they got it all.
Guy: Yeah, but how is he?
Girl: He says he’s got a big headache.
Guy: Well, yeah, of course he’s got a headache!
Girl: Yeah, huh? The guy did just have brain surgery. But you know Bob. He was back in business on Friday, still selling herb, but now he’s got a patch on his head. “We gotta get back to normal!”
Guy: That’s a New York Jew for you.
Girl: You said it, not me.

–Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Sunny Reiser