Archive for June, 2017

…Unlike Your Soul.

Nagging mother to adult daughter, after sniping at her all afternoon: Your best attribute used to be your personality. But with the life you lead, now it's dead.
Adult daughter's husband, without looking up from newspaper: It's not dead, it's just asleep.

–Maguire's Landing, Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Overheard by: oysterwoman

Meanwhile, the Tooth Fairy Harvests Your Body Parts

Teenage girl #1: Wait, if there's a Mrs. Claus and Santa, then how come he doesn't have any kids?
Teenage girl #2: Well, all the children in the world are his kids.
Teenage girl #1: Santa's kind of a pedophile if you think about it. Like, I'll sneak into your house and give you presents if you love me.
Teenage girl #2: Yeah, ew.

–Misquamicit Beach, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Amanda