Archive for 2015

Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Get Back in the Dating Pool

Teen girl: I heard there are sharks in the lake.
Teen boy: That’s probably not true.
Teen girl: It’s true. Like, somebody got killed here by a shark.
Teen boy: I think you have upstate New York confused with anywhere with a shoreline.
Teen girl: But…
Teen boy: ‘But’-nothing if you wanna get fucked later.

–Lake George, New York

Mom, It's Me.

Lady to strangers: Sorry to ask you this, but my sons hate me and won’t touch me, so can you put some sunscreen on my back?

–Southern Shores, North Carolina