Archive for March, 2007

We Talk of Many Things

Woman #1: Oh my god! How are you?
Woman #2: I’m great! How are you?
Woman #1: I’m great! How’s your walrus?
Woman #2: Oh, he’s fine. I’m keeping him in my living room.

–Long Beach Island, New Jersey

Overheard by: Adam Kraemer

Britney and K-Fed in Five Years

Drunk mother: So, do… When we should send the kids to bed?
Drunk father: Well, the older one can stay up later tonight… What the fuck is that kid’s name…?
Drunk mother: Brianna?
Drunk father: Who the hell…? I mean, Sabrina.
Drunk mother: You’re holding Sabrina.
Drunk father: Cassie! Send the other two to bed in an hour or so, but Cassie can stay up later. [Baby in his arms starts to cry.] Shut the hell up, Cheyenne.

–Beach campground, Mindon, Ontario, Canadia

No Wet Bar. Can You Believe It?

Blonde: … So as soon as we got home from spring break I told my boyfriend that I had sex with Brad on the beach.
Friend: Oh my gosh! What did your boyfriend do?!
Blonde: He said, ‘I guess we’re not riding in Brad’s limo for prom.’
Friend: What’s wrong with Brad’s limo?!

–St. Augustine beach, Florida