Young boy, to buxom woman: Are those balls in your bathing suit?
–Reservoir, Arlington, Massachusetts
Overheard by: TC Ledger
Archive for the ‘Words’ Category
I Didn't Slap You, I High-Fived Your Face
Dude: I didn’t steal the Bentley. I hijacked it.
Girl: [Slaps him.]
–Oean Isle, North Carolina
Doctors Surgically Removed Her Husband
Woman: It wasn’t a boob reduction. It was a boob elimination. You know, a man-sectomy.
–Warren Dunes, Lake Michigan
Overheard by: Andrea
Kid's Gonna Need a Lot of Protection
Teen girl: SPF? Oh my god, that’s Britney’s baby’s initials! I wonder if she did that on purpose.
–Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: TJ
You'll Look for Any Excuse to Bring Up Denny's
Boy #1: So “home run” means “married with babies”?
Boy #2: Yeah, but I like Grand Slams the best.
–Penfield Beach, Connecticut
The Semantic Golden Rule: Interpret Others As You Would Have Them Interpret You
Girl #1: I'm a literalist. If you say something to me, I'm going to take it literally. I'm also not a kidder. I do not kid.
–Coney Island, New York
Hanging Ten (Inches)
Girl: They look so much bigger when you’re on your knees!… Um, I meant the waves.
–Loon Point, Summerland, California
Overheard by: likes big waves
Broceans Before Hoceans, Right?
Frat boy to others: Duuuuuude, let's go in the brocean!
–New Jersey
Overheard by: Jersey Girl
At the "That's What She Said" Quarterfinals
Mid-twenties gal: (shows bottle of sunscreen) Hey, hon, will you cream me?
Mid-twenties guy: (snickers)
Mid-twenties gal: What? Oh, god. You’re sick.
(guy rubs the sunscreen on her back)
Mid-twenties guy: Can you get the rest yourself?
Mid-twenties gal: Yeah, I’ll just finish myself off.
Mid-twenties guy: (snickers)
Mid-twenties gal: Oh, shut-up!
–St. Paul, Minnesota
The House Used to Belong to a Black Man
Lady: You have an awfully long deck.
Homeowner: Thanks… Oh, you said ‘deck.’
–Topsail Island, North Carolina
Overheard by: Jim